Sex should be safe and at least comfortable, so important questions need to be discussed before it. Some topics have nothing to do with romance, while other conversations can ruin everything, but there are no options — certain points must be clarified before removing underwear.

1. Are we going to have sex now?

Well, or phrase the question differently, but only to hear a clear "yes" in response. Just to ensure there are no misunderstandings.

2. Do you have a condom with you?

We live in a country where a higher percentage of residents are infected with HIV. We have millions of people suffering from hepatitis B and C. The first time with a new partner — no hormonal pills, withdrawal method, candles, or lemon slices. That is, all of these can be used (except for lemon), but only in addition to condoms.

Even if the newcomer shows a certificate he received yesterday, that is not an option. The incubation period for the same HIV infection lasts several months, meaning he could have been infected a couple of weeks ago, and tests won’t pick up the virus yet.

You can only trust certificates from regular blood donors, who have to be constantly tested for both HIV and hepatitis, as well as syphilis. But ideally, a regular donor should insist on a condom with a new partner himself.

By the way, there can also be an allergy to latex, so an allergic person should have non-latex protection on such occasions.

3. Who goes to the shower first?

When desire takes over, there’s no time to think about any showers. But, putting my hand on my heart, it’s often the first sex with a new partner that reveals something completely different from what we would have wanted to know about the person. There is a difference between honest labor sweat after a dance party and underwear of a week’s freshness.

Maybe it’s better to shower?

4. Is it just sex or something more?

Some believe that after sex, it’s not necessary to get to know each other, while for others, sex automatically means plans for three kids and a silver wedding. Between these options, there are still hundreds of gradations.

Let’s say, one partner views sex as a test: whether to continue the relationship or nothing will come out of it because it didn’t click in bed. The other partner thinks that sex happens only when something is already solidified, meaning the couple is together and for a long time.

If after sex it turns out that partners assess the event differently, then the pleasure will be forgotten, and the troubles will remain.

5. What are we going to do?

At least roughly decide what you will be doing. At minimum — what you definitely will not be doing. If a partner thinks that anal sex is just as normal as vaginal, and positions from porn movies are the most convenient and natural, then sex turns into a risky activity.

Or are you ready for oral sex if your partner responds the same way, but he’s not planning to make an effort. That’s unpleasant too.

It’s certainly better to say what you expect: slow sex with tenderness for the whole night, experiments and passion, or are you just planning to relieve tension.

6. Who are we going to tell about this?

The boundaries of personal space are different for everyone. Some run channels on Telegram about their escapades, describing the distinct signs of all partners in such a way that they could be recognized in the morgue. Some shoot videos (and it’s unknown where they will end up later). And some shyly remain silent and do not spill the beans even during a heart-to-heart conversation with friends and a bottle.

At least two people are involved in sex, and if the partner does not like to showcase their sexual life, then simply respect their wish.

Agree on what mention is acceptable: "I don’t disclose it," "We have a relationship," "Something happened," or "In this position he was doing you-know-what?". And do not violate the agreements, even if you are telling only your best friends and in extreme secrecy.