Myth 1. Everything will stretch
This is probably one of the most disgusting misconceptions. When it is mentioned, people talk about a "bucket" in which the penis should dangle.
Indeed, the birth canal stretches to let the baby through, and hormones help a lot. After childbirth, the process goes in the opposite direction, and the muscles recover.
Immediately after childbirth, it is forbidden to have sex, but by the time you can, everything returns to normal.
And generally, if the myth about the bucket were true, women after their first births would not be able to use tampons or carry children: everything would fall out, wouldn’t it?
Sometimes the muscles don’t come back to tone for a long time after childbirth. But the problem in such cases is not about sex, but about other symptoms: incontinence Vagina changes after childbirth , for example. Exercises for the pelvic floor muscles help with this, they are also called Kegel exercises, and in severe cases — surgical interventions. But this is a complication, not a common case.
Myth 2. There will be no sex for a very long time
The concept of what "long" is varies for everyone, but the standard recovery time is from four to six weeks. Usually, during this time, doctors recommend taking a timeout for the body to recover, to stop the bleeding, and for all the muscles and organs to return to their place.
For some, this process goes faster. But generally, a month or a month and a half after childbirth, a woman needs to visit a gynecologist, who will tell her if everything is fine and if she can return to her sexual life.
And don’t forget that not all types of sex are prohibited.
Myth 3. The partner will become unattractive
It’s not just about women’s bodies. Beliefs say that a man will stop wanting sex because:
- The woman does not return to shape after childbirth.
- The woman becomes the mother of his children, not a lover.
- The man sees the woman giving birth and will forever lose sexual interest in her.
A woman, on the other hand, stops wanting sex because she fully switches to caring for the baby.
In principle, all that has been described above does happen, but the loss of desire is ultimately just a consequence of completely different problems in the relationship. Once you solve them, sex will return.
Myth 4. It will hurt
Unfortunately, this is not entirely a myth. Many women are afraid of pain, especially if the childbirth was difficult and there are stitches in the birth canal and perineum.
In most cases, the stitches heal well within the same 4–6 weeks, but uncomfortable sensations during sex may arise. From fear, insufficient arousal, lack of lubrication, and everything that arises from fatigue and the decreased libido due to it.
If the recovery period has gone without complications, then all problems can be solved with good foreplay, the absence of hurry, and lubricants.
Myth 5. Sex will become rare
Another not entirely myth. Sex can indeed become less frequent because a small child and lack of sleep do not increase sexuality. The issue is, in general, not in sex, but in fatigue or postpartum depression, due to which libido falls to unknown depths.
A banal truth: parents should not forget about themselves and each other when a child is born.
Buy what helps take care of the baby, and throw away what gets in the way, share responsibilities, and don’t try to do everything in the world.
No one said it would be easy, but it won’t be hard all the time. You will learn to manage your time wisely and find the strength for sex if you want to.
Myth 6. You can skip protection
In some cases, while a woman is breastfeeding, she does not ovulate (and consequently does not menstruate), which means she cannot get pregnant: there are no eggs ready for fertilization. But this does not mean that you can skip protection.
Firstly, breastfeeding does not always equal the absence of ovulation. Secondly, no one knows when the body will decide it’s time to start again and will initiate the cycle. It’s easy to get caught on that very first ovulation after childbirth, and the woman can get pregnant. After the baby is six months old, the risks will increase Sex and contraception after birth .
So protection is necessary, unless you are eager to have another child urgently. And with a new partner, it is advisable to use a condom by default.
