The world is so obsessed with how often, where, and when people have sex that the state after it receives criminally little attention. However, the feeling of sadness after sex is not uncommon. It is most often understood as postcoital depression.
Postcoital depression is a term that describes feelings of tearfulness, sadness, melancholy, anxiety, detachment, or aggression after sex.
Interestingly, this refers to intimacy that is mutually consensual and even pleasurable for both parties.
Sex therapist Denise Knowles explains that this state is not always related to bad relationships between partners or psychological trauma. It can be a result of a surge in hormones (endorphin, oxytocin, and others) in the body.
Thanks to orgasm, the level of happiness hormones sharply increases, but then it begins to fall. This happens after the cessation of intimate closeness, which is associated with pleasure. Hence, sadness arises.
Knowles notes that postcoital depression affects women and some men. She also points out that this is a biological process that is triggered to some extent in many people.
Her words are confirmed by research. One of the recent Postcoital Dysphoria: Prevalence and Psychological Correlates. found that 46% of women experienced symptoms of postcoital depression at least once in their lifetime. Furthermore, researchers found that they were not associated with the degree of intimacy in the relationship.
Although feeling down after sex can be quite a natural phenomenon, sometimes it is worth raising alarm about it. For example, if you feel it regularly. According to an earlier study The Prevalence and Correlates of Postcoital Dysphoria in Women. , lifelong postcoital depression may be a result of past sexual violence.
Moreover, it can still be a signal of problems in the relationship. So if you often feel unbearable sadness after sex, the best solution is to consult a psychotherapist or sexologist.
