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Men want sex more, especially with different partners. This is inherent in nature: the male must fertilize the maximum number of females. Women do not really need sex: one time is enough to conceive a child. This partially explains marital infidelity from the male side.
This opinion is still held by many people. Let’s figure out where it came from and how much truth there is in it.
How things stand in the animal world
In 1948, English geneticist Angus Bateman noted Bateman’s principles and human sex roles that male fruit flies have more sexual relationships and offspring from different females than female ones. Since mating is less costly than laying eggs, Bateman concluded that males tend to engage in promiscuous relationships, while females are selective and mate much less often.
This theory was applied to all mammals, including humans, and it was concluded: males want to fertilize as many females as possible, while females want to choose one and receive help in raising offspring.
However, the animal world is not that simple. For example, in primates Bateman’s principles and human sex roles , both partners gain advantages from mating "on the side." Due to diversity, all participants in the process increase the chances of the children surviving. Infidelity is also found among extremely monogamous birds: "husbands" fly away to breed in other nests, while guests visit their "wives."
It was previously thought that males force females to mate, but it was later discovered that females themselves actively seek it out. This is beneficial for the survival of future generations: the more diverse the genes, the greater the chance that one of the offspring will turn out to be more successful.
Scientists suggest Are Men and Women Really That Different? Examining Some of Sexual Strategies Theory (SST)’s Key Assumptions about Sex-Distinct Mating Mechanisms that when both parents influence survival, their method of forming pairs, choosing sexual partners, and caring for offspring is remarkably similar.
Both sexes have mechanisms for forming long-term pairs and reasons for seeking relationships on the side.
Who is more selective in sex among humans
There is a common belief that men don’t care who they sleep with, while women are choosy. This is explained by the greater reproductive contribution of women: if you have to carry a child for nine months and then carry it everywhere for another three years, you need to choose more carefully who it will be from. However, this is only true for societies where men do not care for offspring.
Scientists tested Bateman’s principles and human sex roles 18 populations and found that in monogamous societies, the number of partners and children resulting from different sexual relationships is approximately the same for men and women. Moreover, selectiveness in sex depends not on gender, but on environmental features. In populations where choices are limited and partner quality is relatively equal, no one will be selective. And where there is a wide choice and both parents equally care for the child, everyone will be selective.
It was also previously thought that men are more prone to casual sex with strangers, but it turned out that this also depends on context.
In one experiment Perceived proposer personality characteristics and gender differences in acceptance of casual sex offers , participants were asked how they would evaluate a stranger who offers them sex and how they would respond. It turned out that a proposing woman is perceived as more intelligent, experienced, and successful than a guy who does the same.
This explains why men were more likely to agree to such a connection. Moreover, when participants were informed that the intimacy was being offered by a famous and attractive person or someone experienced in sex, the percentage of those who agreed was the same for both sexes.
Men and women agree equally to a relationship with a stranger if they are cool or good in bed.
What about attraction
Some studies Is There a Gender Difference in Strength of Sex Drive? Theoretical Views, Conceptual Distinctions, and a Review of Relevant Evidence from the 20th century confirm that men want sex more and have more sexual partners than women. Typically, studies on this topic are conducted in the form of surveys. But what a person reports and what they actually do do not always match.
In one experiment Gender Differences and Similarities in Sexual Desire , participants were asked to name the number of sexual partners, but they were warned that researchers could verify the truthfulness of their answers. As a result, the numbers for men and women evened out.
Men do not need more sex even in family relationships. An analysis of 133 couples showed that both sides are equally likely to be The relative impact of individual sexual desire and couple desire discrepancy on satisfaction in heterosexual couples the partner who needs less sex.
Sexual attraction Gender Differences and Similarities in Sexual Desire is not a constant characteristic like hair color or temperament, but a variable attribute. The intimate desire of the same person can change depending on the specific partner or even the stage of the relationship.
Studying attraction as a variable characteristic, scientists discovered Gender Differences and Similarities in Sexual Desire that it does not differ between both sexes.
Men and women react similarly to viewing sexually explicit films, listening to audio of coitus sounds, and fantasizing: erotic stories and fantasies.
Scientists suggested that the difference in attraction between men and women, often observed in experiments, could be explained by cultural stereotypes.
How culture influences attitudes towards sex
There are two theories about what influenced cultural norms regarding sex.
The first is related to the evolutionary cost of infidelity. If a man cheats on a woman (as long as he doesn’t leave the family), she essentially loses nothing. If a woman cheats, a man raises another man's child, which is a reproductive failure. His genes are not passed on, and resources go to prolonging the line of the stranger. Therefore, in both the animal world and among humans, the protection of the female from encroachments is so widespread.
To simplify this protection, men imposed through culture and religion the lack of sexual interest on women. Of course, physical punishment and moral humiliation of the unfaithful woman also occur, but persuasion works much better. No forbidden fruits: you don’t need sex, period.
Scientists note Female Economic Dependence and the Morality of Promiscuity that in societies where women do not have the opportunity to earn, and the role of the man in the family is extremely high, there are especially strong moral norms regarding female infidelity. The head of the family must know that he is providing for his children.
There is also an alternative theory Cultural Suppression of Female Sexuality : women themselves encourage this belief and suppress their own sexuality.
The reasons for such self-torment are the desire to reduce the risk of making a mistake by connecting with the wrong partner and giving birth to a child from him, as well as using sex as a means of influence on men. It is already pleasurable, but if you can also gain profit, why not? However, the authors of the theory point out that laws and religious norms were introduced by men, and women merely complied with them. Therefore, the hypothesis is controversial and requires further evidence.
Whatever the reasons, the fact remains: culture compels women to be modest and faithful, while men are expected to have sex more often and have more sexual partners. Perhaps, together with the increased income and independence of women, this picture will change.
