During the pandemic, many of us experienced a decrease in sexual desire. However, doctors and sexual specialists believe that there is nothing surprising about it. Here are a few main reasons why libido may have disappeared for a long time.
Psychological reason
Although there are currently no detailed scientific studies on the influence of the COVID-19 pandemic on mass sexual desire, Dr. Alexandra Stockwell, a relationship and sex education expert, noted that, judging by her clients, "this is a common issue that has affected not every person, but many."
The main reason, according to Stockwell, is simple: "You can't have good sex if you are under constant stress. You need to feel comfort and safety. It's not hard to guess why people find it difficult to truly relax right now."
Physiological reason
If you thought that all the reasons are only in your head, that's not entirely true. Dr. Jordan Wiggins, who owns a women's health clinic in Canada, noted that the problem may be related to cortisol, or the stress hormone. It activates the body, preparing it for defense — but nature did not anticipate that we would be in this state of heightened preparedness for almost six months straight.
"When cortisol levels are elevated for an extended period — say, during a global pandemic — it affects our entire body: from the digestive system to immunity, mechanisms of storing subcutaneous fat, and arousal."
Ten years ago, scientists from the University of Texas at Austin conducted a study Stress Hormone Blocks Testosterone’s Effects, Study Shows , which found a link between chronically elevated levels of cortisol and decreased libido. Thus, in men, testosterone production — which is responsible for sexual desire in men — decreased. In women, cortisol causes menstrual cycle disruptions. Simply put, stress literally sets our bodies against sex.
The pandemic is also a reason
Another, less obvious reason is the monotony of life in recent months. Sex coach Lola Jean notes that a decrease in desire may be related to the sameness in other areas of our lives. She explains with her example: "I was used to going to cafes and the gym, meeting new people, and visiting seven different places in a day. Without this, I feel less creative, which also reflects in bed."
Stockwell agrees with her: "We are used to shifting roles throughout the day: during the day, we are professionals in our field, and in the evening — parents, spouses, or lovers. Now, all these roles have blended into a mush. If usually, when returning home in the evening, we are filled with stories, now life boils down to home." She notes that it is precisely the change of scenery and the feeling of different emotions throughout the day that psychologically stimulate us for communication and intimacy. Those who have stayed to work from home have found this part of emotions cut off.
Solitude has also become a luxury. Now children do not go to school and cannot go to summer camp, and it may be harder to find solitude with a spouse. Moreover, being with your partner under one roof for so long — also does not really stimulate. Jean notes: "Now I catch myself thinking that I would like to spend less time with my partner, so that when we are together, I give him all my attention and that time feels really special. Therefore, it is important to arrange dates and do something more interesting together than another evening with series."
What to do to increase libido
In her courses, Jean teaches not to expect that libido will rise at the snap of some actions. It's more like a rollercoaster with unexpected ups and downs. But you can help your body to rise independently. She advises listening to yourself and thinking about what new you would like to try. Don't go beyond what is permissible — whether yours or your partner's — but creativity and experimentation can help rekindle the fire.
It is also worth trying to pay more attention to yourself, explore your body more — and possibly find new ways of stimulation that you enjoy. This may be a more laborious and lengthy, but important experience. The main thing is to remember that what you are experiencing is absolutely normal, and you are not alone in your condition.
