Sex is S. T. Lindau, L. Ph. Schumm et al. A study of sexuality and health among older adults in the United States / New England Journal of Medicine an important part of life even for those over 80. So, if you just turned 50, relax: you have decades of pleasure ahead.
However, a somewhat more thoughtful approach will be needed for the joys of the bed in adulthood than in reckless youth. Here are a few tips that might make your intimacy even more enjoyable than at 20 years old.
1. Remember: you are free
In youth, sex is part of the biological program for reproduction. It can result in children, so you have to constantly think about contraception. It often becomes a way to bind a partner to yourself. Or to prove that you are cooler than others.
By the age of 50, this race for the title of the best "male" or "female" usually ends. Adult lovers likely already have experience in family life, children, and even grandchildren. Partners have already proven everything — to themselves and to others.
This is the main plus of sex after 50: it becomes pure pleasure. Entertainment that does not pursue demographic or social goals.
Keep this in mind while preparing for your next intimate encounter.
2. Exercise regularly
Only at first glance does it seem that workouts have nothing to do with sex. In fact, physical activity affects 7 Tips for Better Sex After 50 / WebMD many things — including the ability to experience orgasm.
The connection here is very simple. Regular workouts will give you a toned body, which means you will worry less about how you look in bed. Confidence, comfort, the ability to relax are important factors for achieving orgasm.
Moreover, exercise strengthens muscles, improves mood, and consequently sets you up for sexual activity.
3. Stop thinking of sex as mechanics
Every age has its own physiological features, which, unfortunately, cannot be ignored. Yes, and you shouldn’t. You should know them well — to understand what to expect and what can be opposed to them.
Here are the main problems faced by S. T. Lindau, L. Ph. Schumm et al. A study of sexuality and health among older adults in the United States / New England Journal of Medicine older women:
- Decreased libido. There is simply no desire for sex — 43% of women complain about this.
- Vaginal dryness. A lack of vaginal lubrication and the related painful sensations are noted by 39%.
- Difficulty achieving orgasm. 34% talk about this.
Men have fewer problems. The main one is difficulties in achieving a stable erection, which about one in three complains about.
At over 50, it makes sense to remember that sex is not just a mechanical back-and-forth process. It is primarily intimacy.
Add more touches to your bed play. Give each other sensual massages. Focus on oral sex. Or mutual gentle petting. This will help you relax and enjoy even without penetrative intercourse.
4. Settle in for a long foreplay
With age, more time is required for arousal. This is related to the fact that Female sexuality and changes with age / Monash University skin sensitivity to touch decreases.
Therefore, if you want to have sex in the classic form with penetration, be prepared to devoteforeplay at least half an hour.
5. Stock up on lubricants
We have already mentioned vaginal dryness in women. Experiment with different types of intimate moisturizers and lubricants to find the most suitable option for both of you. And don't skimp on lube when you get down to business.
6. Be prepared to change familiar positions
As we get older, our bodies change. Therefore, a position that was comfortable before may become physically unbearable at over 50.
Pay attention to the cowgirl position — both regular and reverse. Being on top, the female partner can control the angle and depth of penetration, thus reducing discomfort that occurs due to dryness or reduced elasticity of the vagina.
Or try placing a pillow under your partner's back in the missionary position.
Or experiment with sex standing up. Perhaps your couple will enjoy it more than traditional positions lying down or doggy style.
7. Add variety
With age, desire decreases, and a significant role in this is played by the fact that partners have often known each other for too long. Sex becomes routine, and the desire for it diminishes.
To avoid this, regularly add variety to your intimate life. Even the simplest options may work. For example, try changing the time of day when you have sex. Maybe in the evenings or at night you want to sleep too much, while morning bed games, on the contrary, will invigorate both of you.
You can refresh sex in other ways:
- Find a new place. Get out of the bedroom and try making love in the kitchen, in the car, or in a hotel room rented exclusively for this purpose.
- Bring in sex toys. Together with your partner, go to a sex shop and pick something stunning.
- Experiment with the setting in the bedroom. For example, place a mirror opposite the bed, or create a romantic atmosphere with candles and silk sheets.
8. Pay attention to the medications you take
Perhaps decreased libido, vaginal dryness, and erection problems are just side effects of your usual medication. Such medications include 7 Tips for Better Sex After 50 / WebMD :
- antidepressants;
- antihistamines;
- medications for hypertension;
- drugs to lower cholesterol;
- medications for stomach ulcers.
Read the instructions carefully, listen to your body. If you feel that some medication you are taking is affecting your sex life negatively, talk about it with your therapist or your supervising specialist.
9. Consult a sexologist
This doctor knows everything about where orgasms come from and how to deal with various intimate problems.
For women, he can help find a lubricant. Or, for example, a vaginal dilator: this tool helps stretch the vaginal tissues that sometimes narrow after menopause, thus relieving pain during penetration.
For men, a sexologist will prescribe medications for potency and maintaining an erection if necessary.
10. Be honest with each other
Honestly talk about what you feel — both physically and emotionally. Share with your partner your concerns about your sex life, worries about changes in your body, and new desires. And in turn, listen to him.
Trust and emotional intimacy are important parts of physical closeness. Especially at an age when hormones no longer cloud the mind and you see your partner primarily as a person, a personality, rather than a sexual object.
