About troubles (and how to deal with them) tell the experts of the family and sexual education center Secrets.
You tolerate pain
Strictly speaking, pain arises in our heads. When you, for example, touch a hot iron with your hand, a signal about this comes to the brain, and only after that it generates a response signal that something is wrong. And this already gives rise to the sensation of pain from where it originated. Another nuance: when the signal reaches the brain, it not only responds to it but also creates a reflex that immediately stops the painful impact (when you sharply pull your hand away from the hot iron). The conclusion from this can be made very simple: painful sensations cannot be considered a kind of norm in sex (unless it’s BDSM, of course), and if they arise, one should stop the actions that cause them. Moreover, pain during sexual intercourse may indicate the presence of genital diseases.
You do not engage in self-exploration
And this is not at all about reading books or cramming some strange encyclopedia. Self-exploration is about studying your body and discovering its new and new possibilities. Sooner or later, when sex consists of the same set of actions, when your partner knows perfectly well which "button to press" for an orgasm to happen, it becomes more like a mechanized process than an act of love. And if you think that you know your body inside and out, believe me: it surely has many surprises for you. There are countless erogenous zones on a woman's body, and the only thing you need to do is awaken them. Self-massage and masturbation can help you!
You engage in intimacy when you do not want to
You do a favor to your partner and play a trick on yourself. It will be a great luck if during intimacy, which you did not strive for, you manage to experience pleasure, but more often the opposite happens. Regarding women, the saying "appetite comes with eating" works extremely rarely because what we want is mainly not with our body but with our head. And if at a particular moment you really do not want to engage in intimate contact, it is unnecessary to do so, hoping that in the end, you will still get your portion of happiness (because the chances are indeed very small). It is better to tell your partner about your reluctance than to have sex while thinking about the wallpaper color in the room.
You think too much
About how it’s time to change the bedding, about how you haven't called your parents for a long time, about how you have some sort of tummy. Or a pimple on your forehead. Or dust on the table. And all these thoughts, distracting you from the main action, do not contribute to the pleasure of sex. Unlike men, a woman's brain works in multitasking mode: this means that when we are performing one action, we can think about another and want a third. And if you notice once again that your thoughts are somewhere in the clouds during sex, it is time to come to mindfulness techniques. You can even turn this into an exercise: next time during sex, try to focus as much as possible on what your partner is doing with your body and what emotions you are experiencing from that. This does not mean that intimacy should be transformed into a laboratory work, but focusing on touches, sensations, and feelings will guarantee you more pleasure and allow you to understand what you like more and what you do not like at all.
You do not talk to your partner about sex
When you exclude the discussion of your sex life with your partner from the relationship, it means that you automatically deprive yourself of a happy intimate life. If, of course, your partner is not a psychic or a hero-lover, which is unlikely, because men who know exactly how to please a woman are one in a million worldwide. With just communication, one can prevent a war, and discussing sex is a piece of cake.
