How to explain to a child that his mother and father share a special closeness? The bedroom door opened and your little one caught you in the most intimate moment. How to behave in such a situation? What to say to the child? A psychologist's advice will help you navigate such a situation.
Is it dangerous for a child to catch parents having sex?
For children of all ages, this is an unequivocal psychological trauma. After all, he becomes an involuntary witness to the process as a result of which he was conceived. But the sexuality of parents should remain a forbidden zone, it should be enveloped in mystery. Often, a child takes years to recover after witnessing or hearing their parents making love, even if they were not yet a year old at that time. Moreover, children do not see any shadow of love in such activities. They think that parents are fighting, hurting each other, especially if the parents are yelling.
In the modern world, children learn much earlier where babies come from. And this enlightenment is wonderful! But at the same time, they continue to concoct stories about cabbage and storks — this allows them to think freely, to live in their imaginary world. And after this world of fairy tales, the child faces reality, with pornography. This shock, of course, affects the free development of thought.
But if it happened that the little one caught the parents off guard? Most likely, if the child saw something they shouldn’t have, they won’t start the conversation first. Delicately find out if they saw something that is unclear to them. If your worries are confirmed, then tell them that mom and dad did not hurt each other, that they were just cuddling, and that adults can express strong love for each other this way.
If the child is not explained, and the situation recurs, they will try to forget about what is happening, but this will inevitably lead to negative consequences. The consequences can take various forms: poor academic performance, aggressive behavior, possible sexual disorders in adolescence and adulthood.
But it isn't possible to always wait until the children are sound asleep, or to put bolts on the bedroom door? Bolts are not necessary. It is essential to explain as delicately as possible to the child that the parents' bedroom is a sacred zone, and the door protects their private life, and they do not have the right to burst in without knocking. If the child does not obey, the father should firmly say that this is the room of mom and dad and the child does not have the right to enter without knocking. And knock yourself before entering the child's room, then it will also be easier for them.
The child is in the same room with the parents during vacation. Abstaining from intimacy is not an option. If the child is very small, you can place their crib as far from your bed as possible and separate it with a screen. And of course, behave more restrained. An older child can be enrolled in riding lessons after lunch, for example, or sent out for a walk with a nanny. And next time you plan to relax, try to ensure that you and the child have different rooms.
