With the arrival of children, there is never enough strength and time for sex. These tips will help establish an active sex life after the birth of children.
Maintain Sensual Contact
When you have small children, there's no time for sensuality — just getting to bed to collapse and instantly fall asleep. This is wrong, because relationships and love also require effort and energy. Some people are satisfied with sex, but others need prior sensual contact. It is this that will lead them to the bedroom in a heightened mood.
If this is your case, schedule dates for each other. Yes, at night, when the kids are asleep. Set aside time and dedicate it to just the two of you. Do not discuss the events of the day and the children. These are your personal minutes.
Don't forget to touch each other throughout the day. A kiss, a hug, or a discreet caress — it feels nice and doesn’t take much time.
Many couples stop touching each other after the birth of children, and romance disappears from relationships. Often, hugs are associated only with foreplay — you can only touch when it comes to sex. Turn kisses into tokens of attention, by which your partner will understand that you are still attracted to them sexually.
Communicate
Communication is extremely important. But for young parents, it is simply priceless. Do you want to have sex like before, before the children were born? Talk to each other. Everything left unsaid will build up like a snowball and eventually destroy the relationship.
Find time to talk to each other about the difficulties that prevent you from restoring your previous active sex life. Ask what is lacking. The mother of the baby usually needs help around the house, and the father needs some time to be alone with himself. What concerns one should concern the other. Even if the solution to the problem doesn’t come immediately, what matters is that you communicate and are willing to listen.
You also need to communicate with the children. Explain to them that you need personal space.
Prioritize Your Partner Over Household Chores
As soon as the child falls asleep, you rush to redo all the household chores. You try to make the most of these two hours, and end up tiring yourself more than during the entire week.
Stop doing this. The chores will never end. Spend the time while the baby is sleeping on the two of you. This will give you much more energy and strength for your labor feats.
Maintain Intimacy
You desperately need time for yourselves. Once a week or month, find the opportunity to be alone with each other or with yourself. You can leave the kids with a coming nanny, grandparents, or friends.
And don't worry if your child suddenly needs you in the middle of the night. If this happens while you are making love, you will stop and go to the nursery.
Set Yourself Up for Success
When there are children in the house, having sex is not so simple. But that doesn't mean you should give up on your sex life.
You are of course embarrassed by the noise and groans that make it hard to hold on during orgasm or the possibility of being caught in bed naked. Just take measures. Turn on white noise or soft music to muffle the sounds. Tighten the bed springs so they won’t creak. Put a latch on the door and train the children to knock before entering.
Even if your partner’s concerns do not resonate with you, do not argue; look for solutions to the problem together.
Be Inventive
Don't limit yourself to the bedroom. Is the child occupying your bed? Lock yourselves in the bathroom.
Do not neglect brief lovemaking sessions. If you don't have the energy for a full sexual act, try oral sex or mutual masturbation.
Sex after the birth of children will not be the same as before. It will only be better because you have become better and more inventive.
And what tricks do you use to maintain passion in your relationship?
