The foundation of foundations and the beginning of beginnings for all who aspire to ascend to the heavens of bliss and become a goddess of sex.
- Do not think about the orgasm
Or better yet, do not think at all. Intrusive thoughts are a woman's main enemy in bed. Men are luckier in this sense. Their brains are not occupied during sex with thoughts like “how can I turn so she doesn't notice my belly.” The male brain works exclusively on perception and does not analyze what is seen or felt. Unlike men, women are constantly thinking about many things, including the orgasm, "without taking time off." Those who do not achieve it every time turn the whole process of sex into one continuous wait for the “X moment.” And those who have never experienced an orgasm with a man torment themselves even more with reflections: “Now, probably, it’s close! Oh no, why did he change the rhythm?! Was that almost an orgasm? Or not almost? Or not an orgasm at all?” Usually, it is these thoughts that prevent complete relaxation and finally experiencing the coveted peak of pleasure. Therefore, the first and foremost rule of great sex is to turn off your head and fully immerse yourself in physical sensations.
Oksana, 25 years: “Until I was about 23, I was convinced that I could not experience an orgasm with a man. I had enough partners to come to such a conclusion, and among them were real masters of sex. But despite our joint efforts, I could not achieve anything. Now I understand that I just could not 'let myself go,' I was always waiting for the orgasm and concentrating on it. When I started meditating, I decided to try stopping the flow of thoughts during sex. And as soon as I did that, the orgasm happened! Moreover, it was so unexpected for me that I didn’t even realize right away what it was. The man was extremely pleased with himself, although he had little to do with it — I was on top. Since then, I have been constantly improving in this, and the orgasm has ceased to be a problem. It turned out that I could experience it almost 10 times in one act.”
2. Desire your man
Without passion and desire, sex is like an unnecessary meal: you might not want to eat, but you have to. Although it would be worth getting hungry, and the pleasures would increase many times over. So the phrase that passion comes during sex is as false as the phrase “appetite comes while eating.” Perhaps physiologically the body will adapt to the situation, but the inner sensuality will not awaken. What then is the purpose of all this soulless mechanics and absurd movements?
3. Forget about shyness
Where else but in bed can we completely throw off all conventions and allow ourselves to be as liberated as we want? And only here will it be received with enthusiasm. In great sex, partners do not judge each other’s behaviors and only enjoy pure pleasure, which is not clouded by doubts like "what will they think of me." Therefore, they scream, scratch, cry (from happiness), and allow themselves the boldest moments from erotic fantasies. And later they remember this liberation with sweet shivers.
Matvei, 27 years: “Once I had a very passionate girlfriend, Natasha. She was full-figured, but she was completely unselfconscious about it. Watching how freely she moved was incredibly great, and touching her curves was pleasant. It awakened some kind of natural masculine passion in me, you know, when you feel that femininity is something enormous and boundless. She responded so passionately to all my movements and actions that I felt like a real macho! I’ve had many women, but I often remember my sex with Natasha and still feel excited about it, even though it was probably seven years ago.”
4. Be true to yourself
But screams, wildness, and other joys can bring pleasure only when they are a natural need. If they become part of a performance, at least one person remains out of the game: the actor himself. Who needs this puppet theater instead of real, sensual sex? The same goes for unpleasant things for at least one of the partners. It is not worth heroically agreeing, “for the sake of peace around the world,” for example, to anal sex, if it does not bring pleasure. No one has ever succeeded in instilling a love for something through disgust, and all those stories like “the girl didn't like anal sex, but I trained her, and now she asks for it herself” — are tales from a blind maniac. And an idiot, too.
5. Know yourself
Knowing your body and everything that brings it pleasure is a good aid in sex. Understanding where your personal boundary of pleasure lies will maintain a sense of comfort, and practical tips will help your partner perform at their best. 6. Trust your partner However, the advice should not sound like commands or direct instructions because that deprives sex of spontaneity. Let there be space for self-expression between partners; otherwise, making love will turn into a one-sided game. Besides, the most vivid and unusual experiences happen to us only when we trust ourselves to chance and try something new.
Timur, 32 years: “One time I had sex with a girl with whom I had long communicated before, but we were always nothing more than friends. And we should not have brought the matter to intimacy because she ruined everything with her demands. She constantly told me during sex: “Hold me like this,” “Put your hand here, no, not there,” “I don’t like this, I want it differently.” And all that sort of thing. And then she also said that I was too gentle and she didn’t like it! Of course, she didn’t let me show how I have sex. You know, those girls are like Americans who come to an exotic country and instead of trying local food and drinks, demand french fries and Coca-Cola everywhere. And then they say that the country did not surprise them at all.”
7. Talk about sex before or after, but not during
A detailed analysis in bed will throw off anyone from the erotic mood. If you don’t want your sex to resemble a lesson in a school for virgins, save all the discussions about what was good and what was not for later. During sex, you should only admire and be pleasantly surprised. Aloud.
8. Notice only the good
And do not forget to mention it. Criticizing the man for unsuccessful maneuvers is the most thankless task and an extremely failed way to improve sex. Only compliments have power and can make the good even better. Moreover, the ability to see beauty during sex will bring the very aesthetics to the process that is often lacking. And a man will also be pleased to hear a few exclamations of admiration directed at him.
9. Look at sex through your partner's eyes
Anticipating desires and being attentive are things that a woman excels at by nature. And only narrow-minded egoists would refuse such an advantage. Because thinking like a man and behaving like a woman is an invaluable skill, especially in sex. It is with its help that you can win over a man's heart and other organs, showing yourself from all the most spectacular angles and doing everything for which men have sex with women.
10. Love yourself
This commandment claims the top spot on the list because without it, everything else is almost impossible. But we placed it as the last point so that no one could accuse us of promoting selfishness. Because self-love is a sincere feeling of self-acceptance, not a petty desire to get more of everything: compliments, caresses, orgasms. A woman who loves herself does not need external evidence of her irresistibility. But at the same time, she constantly receives them because confident people amaze and inspire a desire to be around them. Especially in bed, where the exchange of energies and feelings is especially strong.
