Anyone who wishes to expand the realm of their erotic knowledge sooner or later catches themselves thinking about this semi-forbidden fruit — anal intercourse. However, many people do it in such a way that — in both a literal and figurative sense — it can be called “through the back door.”
Sweet girl, no one will call you a mare, and you will not become less feminine if you say “no” to anal sex after trying it at least once. There are several reasons to say so.
When people try or even just think about sex “through the back door,” they experience a myriad of negative emotions. So let's consider this topic objectively.
One of the main problems is fear: the fear of pain for both women and men. Additionally, common reactions include disgust and even a sudden change in feelings towards a partner, caused by the fact that many people do not allow the possibility of linking sexual love with a part of our body that is used for defecation.
There is also — more imaginary than real — a “long arm” of the law, both civil and religious. (In reality, this “long arm” almost never prevents actions of the “short arm,” as long as both behave sensibly, and if it does not involve minors). In most countries (including Russia), the only “legal” sexual contact recognized is penile-vaginal sex in the “missionary” position.
Laws condemn many very common types of sexual practice, such as oral sex. But anal intercourse is the only form of “unnatural” sex, whose name traces its origin back to the Bible: sodomy. The fact that this type of sex is often associated with homosexuality and bestiality makes it seem more like a crime than anything else, placing it in the so-called category of “abNORMAL.”
Intense criticism regarding anal sex is deservedly aimed at pornography and porn films. Both books and films leave the misleading impression that this form of sex is as easy as regular intercourse. No matter what, the heroine invariably “accepts” it without any difficulty; her partner slips into her protruding rear as easily as he does into her vagina; and the orgasm that leaves her teeth grinding arrives after just a few movements. Viewers and readers who take this at face value may leap into action, throwing caution aside, and are often so shocked that they abandon the idea forever.
It is well known that fear or anticipation, or indeed fear of something unknown, always causes the sphincter muscle that controls the anal opening — anus (from Latin anus) — to tighten. This, in turn, protects us from discouraging accidents during moments of stress. This is also a serious obstacle for those experimenters who wish to become acquainted with sex “through the back door.”
But despite everything, many couples have discovered with delight that there should be no taboos in lovemaking. Anal sex is enjoyed by those who fit together like a male and female porcupine — very cautiously.
How not to ask
The fear of anal intercourse begins long before the actual physical part begins. Many men scare women off for no reason by the way they bring up the topic. The first barrier to overcome in this game is understanding what not to say so that your partner responds “yes.” Of course, this is if the question is posed by a man. If a woman invites a man herself, then all is clear: go ahead!
Most men wait until the very last minute when it comes to inserting the penis into the vagina during regular sexual intercourse, and then follow with: “How about trying it in the back this time?”
The first reaction of a woman is intense fear: she thinks he is going to force her to do it immediately. After all, there are only about 5 centimeters between the vagina and the back opening; all he needs to do is aim a little lower (or higher, depending on the position).
Another poor start: “Have you ever tried this thing in your butt?” If a woman says “no,” she fears that this will give her some virginal appeal and make him even more insistent; if she says “yes,” she gives her partner the “green light,” regardless of whether she wants it at that moment or not. Perhaps she once tried anal sex and hated it; or maybe she has tried it multiple times with another man and liked it. But this does not mean she wants to do it right now with this man — that is, with you.
She may have several reasons, and they are not necessarily offensive to you. Maybe she likes anal sex with smaller men, and you are too big; maybe she prefers to have a long and thin penis through her “back door” and a short and thick one through the “front” — and you, buddy, are too thick. Or maybe she is just not very relaxed about her digestive tract at that moment. (Don’t forget that women have much more problems with this than men due to their premenstrual cravings.) In any case, putting her in a position to answer “yes” or “no” will only make her nervous and tense, while anal intercourse, more than any other sexual act, requires physical and psychological relaxation.
Use your pinky
When you don’t know what to say — stay silent. It may be easy to notice your woman’s interest without saying a word. Like any other erogenous zone, the anus (both inside and outside) has varying degrees of sensitivity in different women.
In anal sex, just like in genital sex, foreplay is vital, so don’t ruin your chances with excessive haste. Start by caressing her buttocks all over and watch her reaction. Does she tightly squeeze her “cheeks?” If she does, it means she is getting tense; if her “cheeks” relax, that’s a good sign.
Next, starting from the base of her spine, run your index finger down her anal groove. See if she moves backwards, trying to squeeze your finger between her buttocks? Does she flip over on her stomach as you begin to touch her rectum? If she does any of this, your chances increase.
A good way to lead a woman to anal sex is as follows: prepare her similarly to how you would prepare her to part with her virginity in vaginal sex. Almost every woman, before engaging in actual intercourse, has experienced the “hand” work of an impatient young suitor. So take her anus through the same logical steps.
With a woman who has never had anything “from behind,” you should treat her just like you treated a front virgin. And do not immediately shove a finger into her rectum, knowing that there is no hymen there. Imagine that there is. Moisten your index finger with her vaginal juices or your own saliva. It’s simpler to use this natural lubricant than to suddenly start fussing around her with some jar. Simply put, an inexperienced woman may find a deadly association between your finger on her anus and the jar of Vaseline you brought to bed, and thus conclude that you are going to anally rape her.
For such a first (introductory) test penetration, it’s best to use your pinky. Your index finger is a welcome guest in the vagina, even in a virgin, however, a virgin rectum is something else. Remember, your actions should be as gradual as possible.
Instead of penetrating right away, circle your finger around the folds forming the rim of her anal opening. You will quickly find out if she likes it or not, as she will begin to squeeze her sphincter muscle, either to help you insert your finger or to push it out. In this regard, sphincter muscles have great capabilities. When the tip of your finger has passed the external muscle ring, do not start moving your finger back and forth, as you would do in the vagina — the pleasure a woman gets from anal love lies not in the movement but in the all-encompassing feeling of fullness of a space filled either by a finger or a penis.
Slowly insert your pinky inside, up to the joint, then start making slow circular movements with your wrist, without moving your finger back and forth. These movements and pressure will also resonate in the vagina, as the rectum lies directly next to the female genital organs.
While you are doing all this, make sure to do something non-anal as well — kiss her nipples or lick her belly button — to distract her from thinking: what else anal do you have in store for her.
A woman who enjoys every step of anal foreplay just for the sake of foreplay will more naturally mature to everything else.
Don’t scare…
Now she has fully “tasted” your pinky and is pleased to start moving away from you — and protesting. When a woman goes through such a procedure for the first time, she typically yelps and says: “Oh! Stop! No need!” — even if she undoubtedly enjoys every minute of it.
Little girls have been instilled since childhood that they must be picky and delicate — sometimes too much. She fears that during her meticulous explorations and measurements, you may stumble upon something, to put it mildly, unromantic. Even despite the fact that she, of course, thoroughly washed her entire body in the shower and took a bath before getting into bed, and knows that she is absolutely clean everywhere.
Don’t make her anxious — comply immediately: withdraw your finger, but continue foreplay on the external part.
Also kiss her rim — that is, the rim of her anus. Gently but thoroughly — around and around, again and again. Furthermore, there is something soothing in every kiss, no matter where it lands, even if it (with a smooch) lands on the back.
Tongue caresses
Analingus — in Latin means “anus-plus-tongue.” Some call it “reaming” — from Old English “remen,” which means “to open slightly.” The word “rim” (to encircle) best captures the essence of this technique, as the anus externally consists of a rim formed by a ring of folds.
Women who have never tried it call it “Oh, that’s awful!” at least until they try it and, under skilled guidance, love it.
A woman should lie on her stomach, widely spreading her legs and placing a pillow under her stomach to lift herself. Otherwise, a man may strain his neck. This position also provides you with a wonderful view of her charms located below. Gently spread her buttocks with your hands. Don’t stretch them too much, or else, aroused, you may cause her pain.
Before focusing on the anus, perform slow licks up and down along her anal groove. Pay special attention to the perineum: a hard, fibrous area, the size of a ruble coin, that separates the anus from the vagina. This spot is extremely erogenous, especially for women who have undergone an episiotomy — a surgical procedure performed during childbirth to widen the passage. The apposition of sutures provides some benefit, making the nerve endings in this area more sensitive. By the way, women should bear in mind (for another moment) that this same part of a man's body also possesses heightened erogeneity.
When you are licking her anus, make quick circular movements with your tongue, while vigorously breathing so that your heavy breathing excites her even more. Just don’t “dig in” deeply — just as with other erogenous zones, the rule applies here: the less, the better.
It is evident that at such a moment — is the perfect time to generously lubricate her with your own saliva and, at the same time, to further excite her. Yes, this is a very animalistic, caveman-like form of sex. But after all, didn’t we originate from people who truly came out of caves? Traditionally romantic approaches are wonderful, but from time to time a man should play the role of a gentle beast for his woman. And if she follows the instructions given in this lesson, he will be pleasantly surprised by the intensity of her arousal in response to his primitive passion. Such a change of position and action can arouse and ignite her like never before.
Many consider this procedure pointless since the tongue cannot penetrate well. Of course, you will not be able to carefreely wiggle your tongue all the way to her colon, but you can insert your little tongue right into the ring of the sphincter muscle. An excited woman will help with this by trying to clench the tip of the tongue for a few seconds — a completely new and unexplored dual sensation.
Again that finger, but larger
Now your partner is relaxed and wet enough to accept your index finger. Insert your finger with gentle circular movements and pause whenever she tenses up, so she has the chance to prepare herself for accepting greater length and width. She will feel least “pierced” if she lies in the embryonic position on her side, pressing her knees to her chest. This position will also allow you to insert your thumb into her vagina; this is psychologically beneficial, because as you break your way through the “back door,” you also perform a “normal” procedure.
As soon as your finger has passed the sphincter muscle, do not remove it. The sphincter is the Rubicon. Numerous transitions will only inflame it. If she feels discomfort, wait, do not withdraw your finger at all. Any attempt to start over will only make her increasingly anxious about her ability to accept this.
The first attempt
A woman who manages to accept the largest finger of her man might want to go further, but she is troubled by completely natural things. First, cleanliness; she doesn’t want to “soil” you; and especially, she doesn’t want to see the state of your penis after — just in case… well, you never know… To eliminate this distracting fear of pleasure, it’s easier to use a condom than to argue. However, don’t forget to use plenty of additional lubricant. Vaseline, for example, is more suitable than baby cream, as it is thick and jelly-like. Don’t skimp on the lubricant — use it on both your penis and her anal area.
The woman should get on her knees, touching her chest to her thighs; only a great “specialist” can sit on a man on top. Get on your knees behind your partner’s buttocks facing you, insert the penis between her “cheeks” and gently press the tip against her rim. Let the following movements belong to her; ask her to make rotating movements (as if wrapping) her pelvis towards you. When she starts doing this, lean forward yourself — but do not push! — ahead.
Unless you are a real giant, the head of your penis should enter her rectum. Don’t think that the battle is won and don’t start thrusting like you would in her vagina. Again, wait. Pauses in anal sex are much more significant than active moments.
Throughout this time, maintain a constant flow of gentle verbal encouragement for your partner, constantly reassuring her that it is her show, that you will always wait for her before making the next move. (This is precisely the case where you should not fall silent.)
Do not hold her tightly by the hips, as this will make her feel like she is in a trap, and she may fear that you will suddenly thrust into her, using your hips as leverage. Instead, find something for your hands to do on her pubis: if you sufficiently excite her clitoris, she will be ready to give everything in the world if you enter her by any means.
Since the anus is tighter than any vagina, a man does not need to vigorously move the penis to attain pleasure. Such tightness in itself is sufficiently arousing, and such fullness invokes pulsations that cannot be felt in a more elastic vagina. Additionally, there is a psychological factor that replaces the man's more active movements: a mere awareness of the fact that you are directly there may be the most powerful of all stimuli. By generally accepted traditional standards, this territory is still considered forbidden, and human nature is always prone to acts contrary to prohibitions.
During the first few attempts at anal intercourse, you do not need to insert your penis all the way. It may take a week, a month, or longer before you can reach the bottom. It is important to remember the following: let your success accumulate gradually — a woman who accepts one centimeter today may want to accept two centimeters next time.
Strikes
Now that you both have adjusted to this idea, you can remove the condom and do something similar to regular intercourse. Penile thrusts are possible in the female rectum, however, remember that a woman has smaller hands, legs, and everything else than men; she also has a smaller rectum. And no matter how much she enjoys it, she will not be able to withstand frantic thrusts.
You can enjoy slow, gentle insertion of the penis with rocking movements and very slow retractions. In any case, do not try to “reach the end,” as you do during vaginal intercourse. The cervix is a hard, resilient, stump-like organ, but the intestine is much more delicate.
After some practice and exploration, you will likely find ways to use other positions for anal intercourse…
Exercises for the butt
Unfortunately, there are no known exercises that a woman can do to prepare herself for anal intercourse. Western sex shops sell special expanders. They come in various sizes, and by moving from smaller to larger — you can prepare yourself for anal sex. However, in our Russian sex shops, such devices are not observed. Therefore, if you do not travel abroad and cannot purchase expanders there — forget about such training.
Some “gay” individuals train themselves using bananas and cucumbers, but I am strictly against this — for both genders. The vagina is closed on one side, the rectum is not: it continues upwards, so things can simply get lost. By the time the doctor finds and retrieves them, the damage may be serious.
Also remember that even the slightest precaution and caution is worth a full butt of medicine. If you have hemorrhoids, which are as hard to express as to say, then never even think about anal intercourse.
Finally, never jump back and forth between the rectum and vagina without washing your penis in between. Ordinary natural vaginal bacteria may resist contact with fecal bacteria.
In reality, anal sex is not at all rough and animalistic. It can contain the utmost tenderness and consistency of partners because it involves special care for the comfort and sensations of the woman — such concern that no other form of sex implies. The fact that some women try to achieve anal pleasure despite initially feeling pain also proves the erotic power of anal sex.
The temptation of virginity dies hard. Even today, a woman who feels deep affection for a man dreams of presenting herself to him as a virgin. The past cannot be returned. If a man is number forty-six, then there is no way to make him number one. However, you can make him “first” if you have never tried anal intercourse before him. Many men find it as flattering, if not more flattering, than being the first “in front.” Since it is proof that she completely trusts you and generously gives you something new. If a woman has chosen you to experience this for the first time, you can consider it the highest compliment. This means that you are a special man to her.
The drawbacks of the anal act are:
Your approach to it, if you were raised in the spirit that such an act is degenerate and dirty, you will find it difficult to fully enjoy the anal act.
If you haven’t cleaned yourself thoroughly, such an act can be quite unpleasant. If you suspect that your partner last washed before prom night in high school, you can always suggest taking an exciting clean bath together.
If, after withdrawing your penis from your anal opening, he does not wash it, then you have the chance of catching a vaginal inflammation.
The positive aspects of the anal act are:
Increased variety.
You cannot get pregnant this way, so if you forgot to take the pills, you are not limited strictly to oral sex.
If you have a heavy menstrual period, then anal sex will be a successful alternative.
Anal sex opens up a completely different, uncharted world of sensations with new sensory horizons.
