Many dream about it, but few dare. Cast aside prejudices and allow yourself to get new sensations. How not to ruin your first experience of a threesome is explained by our reader, who chose not to reveal his name.
Preface
When the advice in this article won't help:
if you met by chance for just one time;
if you are two guys or two girls who right now want intense sensations;
if you don’t care what will happen afterward, you are not planning on repeats, and frankly, you are not worried about whether everyone will be satisfied.
Here I will give advice that will help a couple get new sensations and not get burned by it.
Why is it necessary to bring variety to your sex life? Passion fades over time, and this is a proven fact. If you have been together for more than three years, you already understand what I am talking about. My wife and I have been together much longer and still maintain interest in each other. A threesome is one of the ways. This article is for established couples who seek to diversify their sex life. I will share my experience from a man's perspective.
I won’t talk here about how to get there or convince your partner. I assume that your relationship is sufficiently open and that you communicate with each other about your desires.
The first experience of a threesome is a test for any relationship. The first time you need to treat each other with particular care. Make it clear that you are here for each other, the highest value for you is your relationship, not the invited participant.
If during the process you see that your partner dislikes something, pause, take him or her to the bathroom, and talk.
Tell each other how you love one another. Relax, calm, encourage — well, you know better what to say to your spouse. And if the discomfort disappears — continue. If not — it’s better to wrap it up for today. You’ll have another chance to try.
If you haven't had a similar experience before, don’t be in a hurry to invite good acquaintances to your place. If something goes wrong, you risk ruining your relationship with the third participant for a long time. If you have the slightest doubts, practice with a professional first. Observe each other’s reactions. After it’s over, discuss whether you liked everything, and be sure to show how much you care for each other. This is very important — to understand that your partner cherishes you.
So, you have decided. Now you need to determine the format.
Formats
MFM
The simplest format is MFM. It is simple in that it is easy to satisfy a woman in this way, and it almost always ends successfully.
Advantages:
- Two men can please a woman much more completely than one. Four hands, two mouths, two members. Double penetration. Double enjoyment. One of the most common fantasies for a woman is her and two studs (or more). The lady feels like a queen, being the focus of attention of two men at once.
2. With some sophistication from at least one participant, this method requires almost no preparation. The woman only needs to trust; everything else will fall into place. Two men will always find something to do with the woman.
3. Everyone has heard of multiple orgasms in women. The male body, however, is different. Men need time to recover after ejaculation, and the MFM threesome is ideal for this. While one is engaged in active actions, the other rests, and vice versa. This way, you can ensure hours of continuous ecstasy.
4. There is no risk of transferring microflora. If the invited man is wearing a condom, then no one will get new microbes and fungi. Unlike the MFF format, where safety needs to be monitored much more closely.
Disadvantages:
- The woman must trust at least one of the men, and the trust must be justified. Someone needs to be able to hear: “Stop, I don’t want this.” Four strong hands in the heat of passion significantly reduce the partner's freedom, and it's easy to overlook if something is causing her discomfort. For example, in this particular position, she may be in pain from his friction. Moans of pleasure and moans of pain are poorly distinguishable, especially if you’re not very familiar. There must be someone who can stop unpleasant actions for the woman, change the position, or amplitude.
Or, for example, she was not planning to engage in anal sex today. In the heat, two men can easily insist on their desires. This is not coercion, no. After another orgasm, exhausted, the girl may simply not have time or the ability to object. But later she may say: “No, I didn’t want that, it just happened. I was against it; I felt uncomfortable.” And the impression will be ruined, and there will be resentment. To avoid this, it is advisable to establish a safe word.
2. In our country, homophobia is strong. Men need to realize that they will find themselves in bed with another naked man with an erect member. And there are no options to avoid accidental touches at all. If the sight of an excited jade shaft beside you frightens you, if you blush from a suffocating wave at even a slight contact — refrain from such adventures. Psychology is more valuable.
FMF
The FMF format is much more complex.
Among men, there is a widespread legend that sex with two women is just wow! A captivating image comes to mind: two beauties dance, kiss passionately, caress each other, occasionally glancing enticingly at the man. Stimulated to the max, they beckon him closer and, trembling with desire, pounce on him.
Nonsense.
In nine out of ten cases, either one or both women end up unsatisfied and unhappy with the evening, no matter what they tell you.
There are many reasons:
the man paid her less attention than she wanted;
the man spent too long with the second partner, while the first had time to cool down;
the man became overly excited and finished too quickly;
one of the partners turned out to be jealous;
the girls began comparing themselves and suffering from their imagined physical shortcomings, and so on.
The main reason is that the man's strength and attention are insufficient for two at once. There is a solution, and below I will explain how to organize an FMF threesome and satisfy both.
Advantages:
- It’s very beautiful. The sight of two naked women in one bed is a delightful spectacle. Men, with rare exceptions, find lesbian erotica captivating. No wonder it’s one of the most popular plots in the porn industry. Most women like it too.
2. The FMF format allows for the unveiling of female sexuality. Statistics show that over 70% of women are bisexual or would like to try. Not all of them are ready to admit it, even to themselves, and out of these 70%, a significant portion will never get to experience it. A FMF threesome is an excellent and safe way to explore this facet of their sexuality.
Disadvantages:
- It’s easy to spoil. I have described the reasons above. A man will have to fully exert himself to please both. This is genuinely difficult, and all three risk leaving unsatisfied.
Furthermore, women are more sensitive than men to note any nuances in the trio's moods and react to them. One unsuccessful joke — and the arousal temperature drops by a dozen or more degrees. Or, for example, a woman usually drinks semi-sweet, and you bought brut.
Also, women feel more embarrassed in front of each other than in front of men. “Oh no, she will see my extra pounds on my thighs, horror, turn off the lights quick!” The FMF is a fragile system.
2. Considering the first point, such a meeting needs to be prepared for in advance. If the partners are not well acquainted with each other, they need to get to know each other better. Understand taste preferences. Ensure that the invited woman is not scared and trusts you. Once again, tell your woman how much you love her; it’s never unnecessary. Ensure your woman does not see a threat in the invited one. And other details, more about them below.
3. In the FMF format, increased safety measures must be observed. Transferring vaginal microflora from one woman to another can happen not only through the member but also through fingers, lips, and other body parts. Let’s say you are caressing one of them's vagina with your fingers. Now, before engaging with the other, you must wash your hands or otherwise sanitize them.
4. Among women, there is a significant percentage of those who do not accept sex or even just erotic games with a person of the same gender. And if your pair includes such a girl (or both) — they won't like it. You can try: maybe they will awaken interest. Sometimes this happens, but hardly the first time.
How to build an FMF meeting so that everyone is satisfied and wants more?
For a man to satisfy two women alone, he needs to be a sex giant. In our time of poor ecology, such are exceedingly rare. But there is another way: to cooperate.
Start with the invited girl. Together with your regular partner, devote all attention to her. Then, after climaxing and resting, switch roles and engage with your woman, again together.
You are lucky if the partners in your trio have inclinations towards bisexuality. Then the thought of caressing another participant together with you will be warmly received. But what if they are strictly heterosexual?
To help you and not leave yourselves idle, they do not need to act out lesbian porn, perform cunnilingus, or fondle breasts. Even kissing is not necessary. Simple, harmless strokes on the back, belly, and legs are enough. Kisses on the neck, shoulders, and ears. Caressing the head and hair. Even just hugging, looking into each other’s eyes, and smiling encouragingly while the man fully caresses her. Believe me, this turns all three of you on even in the case of 100% heterosexuality.
This method significantly increases the likelihood of success. For this, your partner needs to understand and accept it, and it is better if both girls do.
General practical advice.
There are several important points to consider when planning. Your first meeting will likely go nothing like you imagined. But you can still anticipate some things.
- The most important thing: all three must like each other. If even one participant has unpleasant feelings towards any other — sex will only exacerbate it. In this combination, nothing will work. Stop and start looking for a partner anew.
2. To interrupt an orgy that has gone too far, establish a safe word with your regular partner. Anyone who hears it must stop the action immediately. In what situations this is needed, I have described above.
3. Some sexologists recommend abstaining from sex for several days before the meeting and incorporating aphrodisiac foods into your diet. I agree with them.
4. It’s better to meet on neutral territory. The invited partner — girl or guy — will feel constrained in the owners' apartment. Unless you have a large country house with a bath and a guest bedroom. In the owner's apartment, a tactful person will be bound by guest behavior norms, while in a rented apartment or hotel room, all are equal. On neutral territory, it will be easier for you to relax.
A rented apartment with good finishing is best. Then a hammam. According to some girls, a sauna is good because if an awkward pause in conversation arises, it can always be filled with the words “How about going to the pool!”
At worst — a hotel room. Not everyone will like going to a room with three in front of the security. The worst option is a dilapidated Khrushchyovka. Don’t even consider it.
5. Create a romantic atmosphere. Soft music, candles, flowers, chocolate, dim light. This is important for women, even when you are just the two of you. And in such a delicate matter as a threesome, romance is three times more important.
If you are not sure that all participants like scented candles, don’t use them; take regular ones instead. Some people find their smell unpleasant.
You can choose music yourself or take one of the specialized podcasts, such as Sexy Lounge.
6. I have heard advice to start the evening with watching porn. From my point of view, this is doubtful and highly depends on the partners' preferences. Decide for yourselves.
7. Stock up on fruits, water, and light snacks. For someone, light snacks are half a banana; for another, it’s half a grilled chicken. Everything is relative, so it’s worth figuring out in advance who prefers what kind of snack and what alcohol. Less food and lighter drinks are better. Exclude strong alcohol. Water is essential!
8. Ensure enough lubricant and contraceptive methods. Prepare disinfectants like “Miramistin”. They can be used to treat the man’s hands during the action if you have the FMF and to disinfect the genital organs afterward.
