“For many years of communication with girls, I have established a few simple rules about what they shouldn’t do after sex. And I know for sure that other men will confirm this,” says journalist, writer, and screenwriter Alexey Belyakov, reflecting on the phrases that women shouldn't say in the presence of a man. Especially after sex. Especially if you have long-term plans for him. “Men are not only tender but also not too complicated creatures. With just one word, you can kill their passion,” warns Alexey. We present the author's text in its original splendor.
So, first of all — no negative or ironic assessments. Like “why so fast,” “you’re not great today,” “kind of sluggish”… Even if it’s your husband, whom you’ve lived with for ten years. Either admiration or absolute admiration. Even if it really was “not great.” It’s acceptable to reproach a man for not being able to drive a nail, for earning little, for being selfish, a glutton, a slacker — but no accusations of sexual inadequacy. Especially at the beginning of a relationship. Admire him — and next time he will “drive the nail” so that the neighbors will rush over to the noise.
The next rule. You cannot demand immediate continuation. “Come on, what are you waiting for!” There are certainly exceptional men, but very rarely. And all this “come on, come on” will only irritate him. Not what you would like. Since Ancient times, there is a saying “Every creature feels sad after intercourse.” A man needs to be given time to feel sad, to look at the ceiling, to drink a cup of coffee. Take a bath, after all.
It is not worth asking if he enjoyed it. If he is doing this with you, it means he already likes it. Such questions make him nervous. In general, starting to chatter right after sex is an inappropriate activity. And what if he suddenly didn’t enjoy it? Do you want him to state that? Do you need that? Everything can be understood from his face, gaze, and breath.
Now let’s assume that the sex happened unexpectedly, caught you off guard when you weren’t expecting it. At a party, in a distant room, at a country picnic, during a business trip. What Bunin called a “sunstroke.” This is wonderful; sometimes it is the best sex of your life. But don’t ruin it with an “epilogue.” Hence the next rule. You cannot hastily get dressed and rush to escape. “Oh, they will be looking for us! Ah, I have to hurry!” There should always be fifteen minutes of bliss.
Just lie next to him and be silent. If you run away, everything turns into a silly farce. Fifteen minutes. Priceless fifteen minutes. Personally, I once made a proposal in those fifteen minutes. I lay there, thought, and made it. The girl agreed.
Another rule related to the previous one. No fuss of a medical nature. “Were you careful?” All the pleasure disappears instantly. The man lies there and thinks: “What a bore, to hell with her!” You should have thought about safety earlier.
And finally. If you look at sex from the perspective of life experience. Let’s say this is your first sex with a new acquaintance. Never afterward ask: “Will you call me?” Even if you think you’ve fallen hopelessly in love. Here, the old joke is fitting. What’s the difference between a French woman and a Russian woman? A French woman quietly slips out of bed in the morning, writes in lipstick on the mirror “Merci, mon amour,” and disappears. A Russian woman stands in the middle of the room, hands on hips, looks around, and says: “And here we will place grandma's cabinet.”
Men are terribly afraid of these “cabinets.” Give him time to think. He will find you. After all, you “coincidentally” mentioned your last name and place of work. He will find you, no worries. If you admired him after sex, if you didn’t chatter about your ex-boyfriends, if you didn’t ask silly questions. He will find you.
