I love porn. I watch it by myself and with a partner, sometimes during masturbation, sometimes — just for fun. It helps me get aroused and come, teaches curious techniques, provides aesthetic pleasure. But despite my love for mainstream pornography, it has several drawbacks.
About time and scenarios
On screen:
Half an hour of stunning sex — that's the way to go. Foreplay? Who needs it, we are ready all day long.
Behind the scenes:
Time is money, guys! Do you know how much an hour on set costs? Let's move, half an hour for a scene is the limit. And we stick to the formula: 2 minutes of foreplay, 4 minutes of oral, 10–15 minutes of vaginal sex. Curtain.
Actually:
We are not late for a train, right? Sex can last as long as you want, whether 20 minutes, an hour, or two. Sure, it can be quick, but not every time. Foreplay and oral sex are not excesses or whims, they are part of the process. No one is timing us with a stopwatch, and there is no formula. This is sex, not math.
About orgasms
On screen:
She comes in any position, with any level and type of stimulation, while he never loses his erection and always comes at the end, like on command.
Behind the scenes:
She can't come? Not a big deal. Just act like it, sweetheart. He came? Let's wrap it up.
Actually:
Some women come from vaginal sex. Most — from clitoral stimulation. Some — from dual stimulation. There is no one "right" female orgasm.
With men, it's also complicated. Porn actors can keep an erection for hours and delay orgasm; it's part of their profession. Not all men can do that.
Moreover, sex does not have to end with a male orgasm. Or a female one.
Sex should not be a race to orgasm. Or a competition of who finishes first.
In a competition, there are winners and losers. You might think there are not enough complexes and problems associated with sex already. Why add another?
Sex is a dance or, if you will, a wave movement. There are ebbs and flows. He came? She came? Great. Let's rest and continue.
About positions
On screen:
The coolest position — she's with her legs spread wide, hanging in the air, resting on her elbows on the bed, he crouches and enters her at a slight angle. Very comfortable and sexy!
Behind the scenes:
The operator screams: “No, no, this position doesn’t work! Spread your legs wider. And you turn a bit, otherwise nothing is visible.”
Actually:
“Darling, if I spread my legs any wider, I’ll split in half. And anyway, we’re not performing for an audience. Let’s do what we like. And so that tomorrow we can stretch out.”
About appearance
On screen:
Hair on the pubis — a myth, it doesn’t exist. All men are tall, muscular macho. All women are blondes with huge breasts and a toned figure. Pimples? Cellulite? Fat? Stretch marks? Haven't heard of it.
Behind the scenes:
Casting. Appearance standards for male and female actors. Fitness and diets, trips to massages and cosmetologists — not just a lifestyle, but part of the job and a guarantee of income. Choosing the angle of the shoot, proper lighting. Foundation from head to toe. On camera, a special lens. Everything has to look perfect. This is a fantasy, baby.
Actually:
This is reality, baby.
Fat, stretch marks, cellulite, pimples, and hair on the pubis — not a crime, and they happen with porn stars too; we just don't see it.
Of course, health and good shape are important and beautiful, but why push the requirements for yourself and your partners to the absurd? Even porn stars do not look like that perfect picture we see on screen.
About genitals
On screen:
He has 18 of the straightest centimeters in the world and more between his legs. She has a “coin slot.”
Behind the scenes:
Again, casting. A regular penis and a regular vagina are not interesting to pornography; an ideal is needed (no matter how mythical it may be).
Actually:
The average length of an erect penis is from 13 to 15 centimeters, and vaginas can vary greatly in color and shape.
About communication
On screen:
Everyone is happy, everyone likes everything. There is nothing to discuss; partners understand each other without words.
Behind the scenes:
A contract is signed for the scene. Duration, who's doing what and with whom, with anal or without, with a condom or not — everything is documented. Most experienced male and female actors have already worked together and approximately know what to expect, and discussions and conflicts, which inevitably arise during filming despite preparation, remain on the editing table.
Actually:
This is about communication. It is necessary. What happens in porn behind the scenes should also happen in real life. Even with a steady partner, it's better not to shove different objects into each other's different openings without consent.
About technical issues
On screen:
Muscles don’t get sore, the clitoris doesn’t become hypersensitive, anal sex doesn’t cause discomfort, sweaty bodies don’t make funny sounds. Never.
Behind the scenes:
They do make sounds. Oh yes. But it turns out that's in the same place where they figure out who, whom, where, and what will be inserted — in the trash.
Actually:
Sometimes, especially after sex in a doggy style position or just with very deep and intense penetration, the vagina releases air, which very much resembles farting. This happens all the time. It has happened to me many times. But in porn, you will never see this.
The problem is not that such things are not shown. It’s just that the fact that awkwardness is a normal part of sex is easily forgotten.
About everything
Porn is not sex at all, but rather an idea of sex, a kind of abstraction, and what happens is greatly simplified and distilled to relieve the audience's sexual "itch" in the shortest possible time and with a full guarantee. I will not talk about porn addiction (although this is a very real problem), rather, about the soft influence of the content we consume on the consciousness.
As you dive into fantasy, try not to drown in it.
Learn to enjoy pornography as a thing in itself, without projecting its standards onto your sexual life.
First — cinema. Second — reality. Let's not mix warm with soft.
