Every person can say "no" at any moment: at the doorstep of the apartment, during a stormy foreplay, or even during sex. This can happen for various reasons. But there are a few of the most common.
This list does not cover all cases, but it is worth considering. We conducted a small survey among friends and acquaintances and found out for what reasons one might refuse sex even at the last moment. It turned out that most of the answers coincided, both from men and women.
1. Refusal to use a condom
With a condom, perhaps the sensations are not the same. But when it comes to infections, medications, and unwanted pregnancy, the sensations are just right. Refusal of a condom is the biggest foolishness one can commit at the beginning of a close relationship.
The Earth revolves around the Sun, the Volga flows into the Caspian Sea, and you always need a condom with a new partner. Only so.
It is encouraging that this reason turned out to be in first place. Sex is a pleasure with risk. Too many diseases (including life-threatening ones) are transmitted sexually, and everyone who has reached the age of consent should know this. With a good partner, protection comes first.
2. Problems with hygiene
A dirty person smells bad, and dirty genitals look specific. Therefore, when an unwashed body is found under clothing (which may be clean), the desire disappears. What else, besides an unpleasant appearance and smell, causes disgust?
- Poor teeth. Due to cavities and plaque, an unpleasant smell emanates from the mouth, meaning that even during kisses, the partner will decide that the matter will not go further.
- Dirty underwear. On a date, one dresses carefully and tidies up. But when clothes are taken off, unsanitary underwear is revealed. And that’s it, get dressed again, at least with something clean on top.
- Hairiness. What is natural is not without its charm. But this is good in words, while in practice, lush hair is one of the reasons for lost desire. Also, because hair retains unpleasant odors. Full epilation of intimate areas is a matter of taste, but if you have a lot of hair in your groin, at least do a simple trim with a trimmer — this way, there is less chance of shocking a new partner.
- Suspicious symptoms. Rashes, spots, sores, cracks, warts, strange discharge. For each such phenomenon, a venereologist should look first, not the partner.
If you decide to wash and brush your teeth only before an important date, it won't help. Still, there are minor details that will give away the slob.
3. Bad location
Sometimes the desire seizes you so much that it doesn't matter where you stay alone together. But for the partner, this is important — if an uncomfortable environment does not allow relaxation, pleasure is called into question.
What does uncomfortable mean? It is a shabby hotel or a one-night apartment that no one keeps clean. It's awkward to say, but it has to be: a bench in the park or a hallway is a very bad idea. So before an important date, think about where you can find privacy.
4. The third wheel
Sex with a new partner is a stress for many shy and modest people. The partner evaluates everything, from how the body looks to the ability to express desires and listen to another person. Almost like an exam.
And now imagine that during sex, an elderly grandmother is watching television behind the wall. An eight-year-old neighbor is learning scales. A loyal dog is closely observing the process. This is already a public performance.
Do not put yourself and your partner in an awkward position, stay alone.
5. Expectations versus reality
A third size without push-up turned out to be zero, shoulders were only broad in a jacket, a flat stomach was the result of shapewear, plump lips disappeared with lipstick, and so on. The partner hoped for one thing, but got another.
Do not deceive.
Be yourself, love yourself, and then you will find a partner who will find you interesting and necessary.
6. Something is wrong with the partner
Sex often reveals a person from an unexpected side. Not always the one that is liked.
Some body features may be unpleasant to the partner because they have different tastes. Too big a penis, a frightening scar, low-quality tattoo, extreme piercing, body shape.
All of this is a matter of taste, not everything can be changed, and it should not be done — you are not obliged to please everyone. Sometimes people just do not match, that is life.
7. Talking about genitals
Do not give genitals names, do not refer to them as third parties, like in bad porn. Forget about phrases like "Meet, this is Vitalik" or "My little one is waiting for you".
Maybe the partner likes this approach, but you better clarify it sometime later. Otherwise, that "later" just won't happen.
8. Laziness
Sex is a joint project that both partners invest in. Show interest and do not expect everything to be done for you. Don’t just lie on the bed and hope that your majesty will be pleased. Otherwise, you will find that the partner dresses and leaves.
9. Sudden deafness
This is a reason why sex may be canceled even if you have already started foreplay. Foreplay shows whether the partner hears you or not. You said several times: do not do that, it is unpleasant. But the partner repeats it once, twice... And why continue like that?
10. Different ideas about what will happen next
He planned to have a wild time, she wanted rose petals and tenderness. She decided to experiment, he wanted guaranteed pleasure in proven positions. And partners begin to act differently, resulting in awkwardness, unpleasant moments, discomfort.
Girls often watch "Fifty Shades of Grey," and start saying they love pain. But the moment during sex you take her by the neck, it begins: "What’s happening, help!"
Sometimes, signing a contract about how the sex will go is a good idea.
11. The law of meanness
Sometimes it’s not about you — life intervenes and ruins all plans. The partner received a call from the boss, and from the memories of work, the erection is gone. Dinner turned out to be too exotic, causing the stomach to make inappropriate noises. A toothache decided to kick in because the law of meanness is not canceled. Such cases cannot be predicted, so do not look for a culprit, just try another time.
