Desire comes and goes. For a while, you may be obsessed with sex, and then find that you have cooled towards it. Your partner is not insured against this either. And that’s okay.
The truth is, when your chosen one loses interest, it is very hard not to take it personally. But it is important to remember: there are many reasons why a person temporarily cools towards physical closeness, and you need to support them at this moment.
Here’s what to do if you find yourself in such a situation.
1. Don't make your partner feel bad
After you realize that the lack of desire is not related to you or your actions, honestly tell your partner how it affects you.
Don't nitpick, don't judge and don't humiliate. But let them know that the lack of sex affects your attachment.
You are in a relationship and you feel like you are missing something that seems to rightly belong to you. Don’t ignore this fact, or you might find yourself in a hopeless situation.
2. Understand the reasons
Be receptive to your partner's explanations of why they have lost interest in intimacy. Reasons can vary widely: antidepressants, stress, anxiety, or illness. If the response sounds like “just because,” then the situation requires even more careful consideration.
If you hear only “you should be above this,” then it’s a good reason to rethink the relationship. In a healthy partnership, your other half will do everything to keep you happy.
3. Focus on other aspects of your connection
Yes, sex is a very important part of a relationship. But there are things that are even more important. By focusing your attention on them, you can enhance them.
The more you focus on the problem, the worse everything looks. Get out of the house. Do something fun together. Engage in any interesting activity together. This will strengthen the sense of connection and intimacy between you.
4. Refresh yourself
Over time, any relationship can become stagnant. Try to refresh them. If this simple operation works with a computer and a phone, it might help your sex life as well.
Nothing kills romance like predictability. So you need to try something new or unexpected.
Plan an unplanned picnic, go to a concert, do something that brings you pleasure. Do something unusual to refresh your partner and yourself.
5. Leave the city
A vacation is also a refresh. Everyone loves to get out of the city and change the environment.
Sometimes a new place can revitalize a relationship. New scenery, smells, and experiences can activate our feelings and awaken joy.
6. Make fear your ally
Research Some Evidence for Heightened Sexual Attraction under Conditions of High Anxiety. has proven - fear increases your attractiveness to your partner. This is because adrenaline stirs sexual desire. So you can use this knowledge to your advantage.
Break the routine and gain new experiences to raise your level of excitement. It can really work.
7. Talk to a professional
If you have never seen a psychotherapist, now is the perfect time to start. Family therapy can not only help with sexual problems but also improve other aspects of the relationship.
You need to explore the reason for your partner's lack of desire. Is it physical? Psychological, emotional? This is where the problem-solving process begins.
After all, it’s about your connection with each other. About what you both want from the relationship. You need to sort this out, and then work on the part that requires adjustments.
