1. Perceive scheduled sex correctly
When you first start dating someone, you are ready to neglect plans for a date. But over time, the situation changes. Most of us are so busy that we can't even read a book, let alone engage in spontaneous sex. Therefore, for many couples, a schedule for intimacy becomes the only way to maintain a sexual life.
Yes, it’s sad to realize that the time for adventures has passed and sex has to be planned. But don’t let this sadness spoil your relationship.
Moreover, planning intimacy is a way to show yourself and your partner that you value your intimate life. After all, we plan what is important to us.
In addition, this routine does not eliminate the possibility of sudden sex. Most likely, there will even be more sex.
2. Choose a suitable schedule
To feel as comfortable as possible, determine a planning type that works for you and your partner. If you like to keep everything under control, create a detailed schedule for each month. If you are advocates of stability, set aside a specific day of the week for sex. And if your schedules change constantly, then arrange just for one upcoming meeting.
3. Set a necessary minimum
One of the problems with scheduled sex is that one of the partners may not be in the mood when the day X arrives. The solution is to establish a “minimum agreement.”
Choose one type of sexual activity that will be acceptable for you: for example, just cuddling or masturbating next to each other. This is what you will definitely do on the sex date. If you want more, there will always be an opportunity to continue.
Alternatively, you can agree on a certain number of skips per month. Then you can skip a meeting without any questions.
4. Treat scheduled sex like a date
Even at the beginning of a relationship, sex is not always spontaneous, as you go on a date with certain expectations. A planned sex meeting can be just as exciting if you start anticipating it as before. Fantasize about it, send each other playful messages — do everything to heat your feelings.
5. Add an element of play
Scheduled sex doesn’t mean boring sex. It’s easy to liven it up. Here’s a simple way: write down on pieces of paper your favorite sexual activities (positions, using certain sex toys, role scenarios) or things you want to try, and randomly draw one of the papers. Do this in advance — you’ll anticipate the evening all day, during the meeting — you’ll get a surprise.
Another idea is to start perceiving your sex schedule as levels in a game. Just agree that if you don’t skip a single meeting in a month, you will receive a reward, for example, you will go together to a nice restaurant.
6. Try different sexual activities
Another way to play is to deviate from the usual sexual script. Try to arrange themed meetings or even themed days: for example, oral sex on Thursdays or petting on Saturdays.
7. Participate actively
Plan sexual meetings in turns and take the process seriously. Ask your partner what they need for an ideal date. Perhaps they want the bedroom to be clean, for the kids to be asleep, or for foreplay to take 20 minutes. When it’s your turn to state conditions, don’t be shy and tell about your desires.
Also, take care of the romantic atmosphere. Good music and a couple of hot messages wouldn’t hurt.
This way, you can demonstrate care for each other and feel like a seducer or seduced.
8. Plan non-sexual meetings
Create a schedule for evening outings, new activities, or moments when you will just be alone together. This shows that you value each other and your time together, not just set aside time for sex in your tight schedule.
9. Thank each other
Maintaining an active sexual life requires effort, so it’s important to thank each other for it. After each meeting, say a few kind words to your partner, noting how the time spent together brings you closer.
Why is it necessary? Because hearing gratitude is at least pleasant. Moreover, recognizing the importance of the efforts made speaks of you as a team that works harmoniously for a wonderful goal — maintaining passion in the relationship.
