1. Consult a doctor
The fight for orgasm should begin with a visit to the doctor: anorgasmia can have medical roots. These include various diseases, mainly neurological, and gynecological issues like dryness or age-related changes in the vagina.
The ability to experience orgasm is also affected by the intake of certain medications: antihistamines, antidepressants, or drugs for normalizing blood pressure.
General psychological state can become a barrier on the way to bliss. Depression, a low mood, or heightened excitability will not allow you to relax in bed. We won't even mention drugs and alcohol abuse. It may seem that a couple of glasses before sex will calm your nerves and help relieve tension, but if there are problems achieving orgasm, it’s better to replace alcohol with herbal tea.
2. Masturbate more often
Masturbation is the perfect way to understand your body's needs on the way to orgasm.
In general, it doesn't matter what technique you use during masturbation. The point is the same: direct or indirect clitoral stimulation leads to orgasm for most women. Among the many options, five techniques for working with the clitoris can be highlighted:
- diagonal movements;
- circular movements;
- up and down movements on one side;
- left and right movements;
- movements describing a figure eight around the clitoris.
To start, you can simply explore the area of the clitoris with circular movements.
What to do if you achieve orgasm alone but not with a partner? Pay attention to the movements during masturbation. Which techniques work? How does your body respond to finger work, and what does not get a response?
3. Use a vibrator
On the way to orgasm, all means are good, including sex toys.
A vibrator will make finger work easier. Fairness note, this tool is not suitable for everyone. Some do not like the purely mechanical effect of the vibrator. In any case, it’s worth trying to figure out your body's reactions. After all, the sex toy industry is not getting billion-dollar profits for nothing.
4. Moderate your expectations
It’s disappointing when expectations and reality do not match. Therefore, it's better not to convince yourself in advance that masturbation will immediately bring indescribable pleasure — something that will make you fly away in a minute. Be realistic and treat masturbation as a learning process.
If regular manual stimulation is boring for you, try mixing it with watching porn, reading erotic literature, and other ways to stimulate your imagination.
Many people are too lazy to somehow enhance the process of masturbation: there’s an orgasm, and that’s it. In reality, it’s worth turning manual work into something special.
Holding back expectations is important so that the long-awaited orgasm does not disappoint you in any way. Orgasms come in different forms for different women. Some really feel the contraction of the pelvic floor muscles, some experience a slight tremor, or just understand that "it feels good."
Don’t set yourself up for an extravaganza so that you don’t miss the onset of a real orgasm. When you are just exploring your body, the first orgasms may not be particularly bright. Later, you will learn to listen to yourself, and the sensations will change.
5. Know your fears
Many do not achieve orgasm simply because they cannot overcome internal barriers. For example, someone is categorically opposed to masturbation. And some feel uncomfortable with the words "pornography" or "erotica."
Think about your complexes. Why does this or that concept cause you fear, guilt, or shame? Perhaps you are ashamed to touch yourself or feel awkward when a partner touches you. Perfectionism, by the way, also prevents you from relaxing and enjoying in bed. Unshaven legs or smeared makeup — a loving person will not pay attention to such trifles.
6. Teach your partner to love you
If you can achieve orgasm during masturbation, but not with a partner, work with them. Most likely, you:
- did not show your partner what you like;
- do not give your partner the opportunity to focus on you.
Tell or even show what you like, what movements and caresses work for you.
Having your own needs is absolutely normal. But many think that asking for attention is somehow wrong. After all, you met in bed to enjoy, so why not let your partner make you feel good?
Read also:
- 11 reasons to masturbate: tips for girls →
- 6 most underrated erogenous zones →
- Stream orgasm: what it is and how to achieve it →
