Maintain Sensual Contact
When you have small children, there's no time for sensuality — just getting yourself to bed to collapse and instantly fall asleep. This is wrong, as relationships and love also require effort and energy. For some, sex is enough, but others need preliminary sensual contact. It is this that will lead them to the bedroom in a heightened mood.
If this is your case, schedule dates for each other. Yes, at night, when the kids are sleeping. Make time and dedicate it to just the two of you. Don’t discuss the day’s events and the kids. These are your personal moments.
Don’t forget to touch each other during the day. A kiss, a hug, or a discreet caress — it's nice and doesn’t take much time.
Many couples stop touching each other after having children, and romance disappears from their relationship. Often, hugs are only associated with foreplay — touching can only happen when it’s time for sex. Turn kisses into tokens of attention that let your partner know that they still attract you sexually.
Communicate
Communication is of immense importance in general. But for young parents, it is simply invaluable. Want to have sex like before, before the kids were born? Talk to each other. Everything unsaid will build up like a snowball and eventually destroy the relationship.
Make time to talk alone about the difficulties that prevent you from restoring your previous active sex life. Ask each other what is missing. The mother of the little one usually needs help around the house, while the father needs a chance to be alone with himself for a bit. What concerns one should also concern the other. Even if you don’t find a solution to the problem right away, what matters is that you communicate and are willing to listen.
You also need to communicate with the children. Explain to them that you need personal space.
Put Your Partner Above Household Chores
As soon as the child falls asleep, you rush to redo all the household chores. You try to make the most of those two hours, and in the end, you tire yourself out more than all week.
Stop doing that. The chores will never end. Spend the time while the child is sleeping on just the two of you. This will give you much more energy and strength for your work endeavors.
Maintain Intimacy
You absolutely need time for yourselves. Once a week or month, find an opportunity to be alone with each other or with yourself. You can leave the kids with a babysitter, grandparents, or friends.
And don’t worry if you suddenly need to attend to the child in the middle of the night. If this happens while making love, you will stop and go to the nursery.
Set Your Mind on Success
When there are children in the house, having sex is not so simple. But that doesn’t mean you should give up on your sex life.
You are certainly embarrassed by the noise and moans that make it hard to hold back at the moment of orgasm, or the possibility of being caught in bed naked. Just take measures. Turn on white noise or soft music to muffle the sounds. Tighten the bed springs so they don’t creak. Put a latch on the door and teach the children to knock before entering.
Even if your partner’s concerns don’t resonate with you, don’t argue; look for solutions to the problem together.
Be Inventive
Don’t limit yourself to the bedroom. Has the child taken your bed? Lock yourselves in the bathroom.
Don’t neglect brief love-making sessions. If you don’t have the energy for a full sexual act, try oral sex or mutual masturbation.
Sex after having children won’t be the same as before. It will only be better because you have become better and more inventive.
And what tricks do you use to maintain passion in the relationship?
