When gender prejudices burst into bed, it is difficult for everyone. Sex is spontaneity. Any stereotypes kill the living thing that is typically loved for. At the same time, representations of a "real man" and a "real woman" live in almost everyone's firmware, and woe to those who carry them into sex.
1. A real man is powerful, smelly, and hairy, but a woman is not
This saying is amusing, but only until the conversation turns to sex. The field of hygiene is a delicate topic that people try to avoid in conversations at all costs. One of the most challenging challenges is to tell someone that they smell bad. Especially during sex. So partners survive as best they can.
The other extreme is women who feel unprepared for sex if their hair removal is not perfect. As a result, everyone suffers.
The golden mean is cleanliness by default unless otherwise agreed upon by partners. The rest is optional.
2. A woman must wait for her prince
The dubious female path is to rot on a lonely bench, supposedly maintaining the delicacy, modesty, and indecision appropriate for her gender—looks strange and unpromising in the 21st century. It's a different matter if these are role-playing games. For example, in the style of "the handsome prince rescues the princess from the castle." But they should not happen by the dictates of gender, but by the call of the flesh.
If we seriously engage in dividing people into "achievers" and "conquered," it leads more to aggression than intimacy. Two equal partners moving synchronously create a much more promising situation for good sex.
3. A woman's "no" means "yes"
The overused saying about the double meanings of a special female language has complicated life for everyone. The idea that there is a flirtatious girl's "no" that actually means "yes" is harmful. Especially in sex.
In particular, this raises the issue of consent. And while some joke about the Swedish "tightening of screws" (in Sweden, a law works Sweden’s new sexual consent law comes into effect that states that any sex without explicit written or verbal consent is illegal), others cannot grasp that in sex the word "no" has one meaning—negative. The only appropriate option is to speak in one commonly accepted language, without asterisks and footnotes.
4. A man is polygamous by nature, while a woman is not
There is no convincing evidence of this, just an unclear nod towards nature, which has a much more diverse spectrum of relationships. On one hand, this cliché drives men to strive for the specific status of a "hunter of fresh meat," while on the other hand, a sexually liberated woman gets labeled a promiscuous person.
A step left or right from the prescribed position results in a social condemnation. Hence various sexual neuroses. As a result, instead of listening to their sexual desires, people fall into yet another trap of gender restrictions.
5. A woman cares about feelings, not sex. With men, it’s the opposite
A very strange and twisted thought. Sex and feelings are only partially overlapping concepts. But clichés are clichés precisely to firmly establish themselves regardless of logic. Here is a woman who suddenly desires a one-night stand feeling disoriented, while a man thinks something is wrong with him when he doesn’t want to sleep with just anyone, not even realizing that he is demisexual. However, it can be different, the main thing is not to let the power of clichés catch you off guard.
6. A man desires innocence, while a woman desires experience
Society evaluates female and male virginity differently. For men, practical skills in sex are a desirable and almost mandatory characteristic. With women, it’s different. On one hand, certain sexual skills are expected from them too; otherwise, there wouldn't be so many courses like "learn the perfect oral sex." On the other hand, for some men, female innocence remains a desirable prize. And although in 2018 it seems strange to think in such stereotypes, the presence of sexual experience that a partner had before meeting can affect the attitude towards them. But only if one believes in clichés.
Sex is a complicated process. Trying to interact with a partner based on prejudices is a sure way to ruin it. Conversely: the freer the mind is from clichés, the greater the chances of having vibrant sex.
Read also
- 5 things that ruin your sex life →
- How to understand your needs in sex →
- How to regain your sexuality →
