Is it worth having sex if it hurts?
Yes. A study conducted by sexologist and neurology expert Beverly Whipple showed that after orgasm, pain tolerance in women increases by 75% Elevation of pain threshold by vaginal stimulation in women . This means that after sex, women almost stop feeling pain.
The reason is simple: during sexual arousal, there is a sharp release of oxytocin, which reduces anxiety, helps to relax, and decreases sensitivity to pain. Oxytocin is produced more in women, but in men as well.
“Sexual anesthesia” works reliably, it has no side effects, and it is much more pleasant than pills and injections.
Thus, sex can become the best painkiller and, in the long term, it helps to improve well-being and emotional state.
Position "Lying on the back"
This position can be presented in any variation depending on which partner has back pain. To reduce pressure on the lower back, you need to place a pillow or rolled towel under the knees. A flat pillow under the head will relieve tension from the neck. A pillow under the buttocks will help deal with lower back pain.
The height and size of supporting items depend on many factors, including height, location of pain, softness, or firmness of the bed. Try it, and you will quickly understand what suits you best.
If the woman has back pain
The woman can lie flat or bend her legs at the knees, stretching her lower back and relieving back pain. The limit of this position is the “officer” position, when the partner's knees rest on the man's shoulders. Additionally, a position where one leg is bent and the other is slightly raised may be advantageous. The benefits may relate both to painlessness of the act and to new stimulating sensations from pressing primarily against one side of the vagina with the penis.
If the man has back pain
The man can hold his body on his elbows or wrists, adjusting the load on different areas of the back and lower back.
Position "Lying on the back with support - man on top"
This is the most comfortable position for masturbation, traditional sex, and oral sex. Moreover, you can either satisfy your partner or enjoy yourself. When there is back pain, there is no position more comfortable and convenient for the woman: just lie down, relax, and allow your partner to please you.
If the woman has back pain
Depending on the level and reason for her pain, a roll of varying size can be placed under her shoulders, lower back, buttocks, or just below the buttocks. If the woman's movements are constrained, the man should be more active than usual, but at the same time, he should take a position that allows the woman to comfortably caress him with her hands and lips.
If the man has back pain
This position is difficult because the man has to constantly keep his back tense and make movements that rhythmically shift the load from one area of the spine to another. It may be worth choosing another option.
Position "Lying on the back with support - woman on top"
For women with back pain, the missionary position is not always suitable because the man on top will inevitably lean on her.
If the woman has back pain
For women with back pain, this position helps to relieve excess pressure from the back. Moreover, the man does not press on her with his weight, and the woman can feel and distribute the load herself.
If the man has back pain
For men with back pain, this position is ideal: there is no need to move the pelvis and thighs much, which significantly alleviates pressure on the painful back during sex. In this position, it is important for the woman to be on her knees and not to transfer her weight to the man's pelvic area. The woman is not recommended to make side-to-side movements — this leads to shifts in the man's body and a sharp transfer of muscle tension to maintain balance. In this situation, the risk of aggravating pain is very high.
Position "From behind, on the knees"
While on knees, try to keep your back from sagging — this will reduce the risk of pressure on your spine and eliminate the onset of pain. It is better if you lean on a pyramid of pillows or a bean bag chair.
If the woman has back pain
If the woman is lying on her stomach, additional pillows can prevent pain from appearing. In this case, it is better for the man to lean on the bed instead of descending on the partner with his entire body weight.
If the woman rests on the bed with her shoulders and knees, then the arch in the lumbar region of the spine can be very beneficial for many pain syndromes. In this case, the man usually does not apply his whole weight to the partner, but makes movements in a horizontal or semi-vertical position.
If the woman rests on the bed with her palms and knees, then the load on the spine may increase, while the load on the muscle corset decreases. In this case, the man makes movements in a horizontal direction, which practically does not affect the load on the woman.
If the woman is kneeling in front of the bed, leaning on it with her chest and stomach, the load falls on the lower back, although it can be reduced by moving her body slightly forward or backward on the bed. In this case, the entire back can be completely relaxed, which will prevent the onset of pain. Additionally, a roll can be placed under her stomach, which will allow for even more relaxation. In this case, the man does not apply any pressure on the partner's body, and he also reduces physical load, as body movements are made from a horizontal plane, not a vertical one.
If the man has back pain
If the man is in pain, he should make friction movements not up and down, moving his whole body each time, but only move it a few centimeters back and forth. The gain in physical costs and spinal load is obvious. And if the woman makes counter movements with her body towards the partner, it will help reduce the load on the man's lower back.
Position "Standing"
This position is more physiological and accessible when the man is positioned behind the partner. The woman can stand upright or bend forward more or less — depending on pleasure and the painless sensations.
If the woman has back pain
If the woman experiences pain, she should lean on the back of a chair, the edge of a table, a wall, a windowsill, etc. Or lightly sit on her own knees.
If the man has back pain
Active movements during friction mainly occur due to the load on the lower back. Therefore, even in a position where the man does not have to lift and lower his weight, there is a risk of pain aggravation. Therefore, at first, it is important to pay close attention to the sensations in the back. The man can lean on his hands, a table, or the raised legs of the woman, whether they are together or spread apart.
It is difficult even to think about sex when the pain does not subside! The book “Sex with Back Pain” will help alleviate suffering a little. In it, readers will find advice on the technique of sexual intercourse, pain relief, and data from scientific research on the benefits of sex with back problems.
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