How to check the sexual compatibility of your couple

Sex compatibility? Is it when everything is perfect in bed?

Not quite. In relationships and sex, it's better to move away from the concept of the ideal. It is much more important to discover the desires, fantasies, and temperament: your own and your partner's. Their coincidence is sexual compatibility.

At the same time, your sexual expressions may be similar, or they may not be. For example, if you both enjoy having sex in bright light — great, you are compatible in this aspect. At the same time, if one of you loves to dominate while the other adores submitting, that is also compatibility.

Incompatibility can also occur The impact of sexual compatibility on sexual and relationship satisfaction in a sample of young adult heterosexual couples in different ways: factual and sensual. Factual incompatibility is the very difference in preferences. Sensual is the lack of dialogue about desires, closed-mindedness regarding sex, and the partners' unfamiliarity with each other.

And how important is such compatibility for relationships?

Extremely important. It is as much a component of relationships as emotional closeness, psychological comfort, or trust.

Psychologists say Sexual Compatibility: The Importance to Your Satisfaction that compatibility in bed is directly related to satisfaction from sex and the sense of happiness in relationships in general. Ongoing problems in bed often become the reason for breakups, and in some countries, such as the USA, they are Divorce over sexual incompatibility sufficient legal grounds for divorce.

Moreover, if one of the partners is always dissatisfied with the quality or quantity of sex, they may How Sexual Frustration Leads To Depression And Loneliness feel rejected, unattractive, and more often experience depression.

If I love my partner, does that mean we are compatible?

Compatibility is more related to expressing your sexuality than love.

Even strong loving couples can Desire in Long Term Relationships: Keeping it and Finding it When It’s Gone experience conflicts of temperament and desires. Here are situations that often indicate factual or sensual incompatibility in your couple.

• You are ready to indulge in passion every day, while your partner thinks that sex is something like a duty and not very important for happiness. Or the opposite.
• There is something in your partner's body or behavior that embarrasses and repels you, so you try to avoid contact.
• During sex, you think about something unrelated and not erotic at all.
• One of you is completely unfamiliar with the joys of orgasm.
• You never discuss sex, even if you are not satisfied with much. This topic is taboo for you and "ugh, how vulgar".

Remember that sexual incompatibility is not a diagnosis, but rather a matter for discussion, one that can and should be worked on. Especially if you love each other.

We have little sex. Does that mean we might be incompatible?

Not necessarily. What seems like incompatibility may be a lack of self-knowledge, a shortage of time, or a decrease in libido, for example, due to stress.

1. Perhaps you are lacking not in quantity, but in the quality of sex. First, figure out what you specifically enjoy. You can experiment with sensations alone or ask your partner to do something new during intimacy.
2. If you and your partner are always busy, there may be no energy left for good sex. Don't hesitate to set aside hours in your schedule for romantic activities. This is not killing romance, but the only way for busy adults to have sex.
3. Don't pressure your partner if they don't want to make love. Instead, try to make it so that their desire for intimacy returns: flirt, show affection, give compliments, ask what they would like.

I'm uncomfortable talking about sex directly. How can I discuss such matters with my partner?

To establish a dialogue about sex and desires, you need to find a language that is comfortable for your couple. There are several ways.

• In writing. Write a playful message with your fantasies and ask your partner to share theirs.
• Visually. Show a video or a scene from a movie where events unfold just as you would like.
• In action. Share your desire in the heat of passion and ask your partner to fulfill it with you right now.
• In the form of a test. In the compatibility test from MacCoffee, you can choose fantasies that you want to realize together with your partner, and then send the test link to your significant other. When your partner chooses their desires, you will both see only those where you intersect. This way, you will both learn each other's sexual fantasies without unnecessary words. The test protects your data, so the information will only be available to you and your partner.

Find out your couple's sexual compatibility