1. Forget about what you saw in porn
The first rule of a good lover: forget everything that porn movies teach. No, porn in itself can even be useful if it's a shared warm-up with your partner before the main game. But porn teaches the wrong things. The way it happens in porn videos doesn't happen in real life. You wouldn't learn karate from Bruce Lee movies, would you?
Porn films are a performance for the camera, not an attempt to please your partner, not making love.
Let's take the position "Cowgirl facing backwards." This is an ideal option for the camera operator: the process is laid out like on a palm, and there's no need to show acrobatic wonders to capture a provocative view. In reality, it's not the best choice. First, the penis doesn't reach the sensitive areas of the vagina. Second, it’s uncomfortable and even dangerous: there's a high risk of damaging the penis with too sudden a movement.
Sex in pornography is more like working with a jackhammer: 20 minutes of friction ends with a mediocre imitation of orgasm. Anal sex, as depicted in pornography, is dangerous to repeat in real life. So, please, don’t copy porn stars in bed.
2. Take time for warming up
An important component of good sex is its duration. It’s not about hours-long bed battles like in porn. Such sex becomes boring, exhausting, and irritating. The duration of sex does not depend on how long the penis is inside the vagina. On the contrary, the ideal penetration time is 7–13 minutes. We're talking about the duration of the entire act of love.
It’s all about the cause-and-effect relationships.
For men, it’s "I’m aroused, so I will kiss and hug you." With most women, it’s the other way around: sensual contact causes desire.
That's why men often reach orgasm faster than women. A man starts where a woman is just warming up.
A good foreplay helps. Trying to “tune in” by twisting your partner's unfortunate nipples or nibbling her ear is not foreplay. A sensitive man knows that a woman has other erogenous zones besides her breasts.
A tender kiss at the junction of the neck and shoulder can drive a woman crazy. Touching the inner thighs with your fingertips will make her shiver with passion. Don't rush to the main course, be patient and take time to explore your partner's body. The result in the form of a fireworks display of orgasms is worth it.
3. Stop thinking with your penis
Start thinking with your hands, as well as your tongue. The biggest mistake men make is thinking that quality sex only requires the right equipment, preferably bigger and thicker. That’s enough for a woman to moan with pleasure, and for friends to be envious. That’s what porn teaches.
In reality, a woman sadly studies the ceiling and hopes that you will still decide to pay attention to her desires before you turn your back to the wall and fall asleep.
It's men who need a penis for orgasm. For women, everything can be different. According to some data, less than 35% of women experience purely vaginal orgasm. For the majority of women (almost 80%), orgasm depends on oral and manual stimulation of the genitals. They don't care about the size and thickness of the penis, the speed and strength of the friction.
There are no universal recipes. Some like tongue caresses, others prefer finger touches, and a third likes to be touched with the entire palm. Study the woman, and for heaven's sake, trim and clean your nails.
4. Aim for variety
Sex is killed by monotony and sameness. Remember the first months of living together – sex blew your mind. And not because you mastered positions from the hundredth page of the "Kamasutra." It's all about novelty. The human brain needs fresh impressions, new experiences, and stimuli. The honeymoon period is when the brain fills the body with dopamine. Unfortunately, the brain quickly gets used to everything new.
Boredom sets in too quickly, and what made you both excited just yesterday causes yawns today.
Good sex needs variety. New positions, caresses, techniques, toys, and devices – explore the topography of your own bodies and stimulate your brain with new experiences.
5. Talk to your partner
Quality sex depends not on the penis, but on the man's brain. A good lover knows that sex is more than just the merging of bodies. It's flirting, compliments, teasing touches, and most importantly – words. Communicate, discuss desires and needs, ask questions to find out what she likes and what irritates her. After all, women love to talk, especially about themselves.
