1. Thoughts about sex disturb you
Periodically thinking about it is completely normal. The leading author of a major study on sexual practices, Edward Laumann, reports Sex Drive: How Do Men and Women Compare? , that most men under 60 and a quarter of surveyed women think about sex at least once a day.
If these thoughts do not cause you discomfort, then everything is fine. But if they become intrusive, interfere with work, studying, or concentrating on tasks, it’s time to see a sexologist. He will help determine the cause of the problem and, with therapy, adjust behavior.
2. You prefer masturbation to sex with a partner
People masturbate at any age. Often, this is how they gain Is masturbation normal? their first sexual experience. According to American research Your Guide to Masturbation , 95% of men and 89% of women have done it at least once. Masturbation is not a deviation from the norm and does not harm health.
However, problems can arise here too. For example, if you have a partner, but sex with him does not bring as much pleasure as self-satisfaction. Gradually, this can ruin the relationship.
3. You cannot reach orgasm
If you do not experience sexual satisfaction despite arousal and stimulation, you may have anorgasmia. More often, women suffer from this Orgasmic dysfunction: Everything you need to know , but men can also be affected by the problem. An expert from the authoritative medical publication WebMed reports Can’t Orgasm? Here’s Help for Women , that about 10% of women have never experienced an orgasm — neither with a partner nor during masturbation.
Here are the reasons for the lack of orgasms:
- difficulties in relationships with a partner;
- illnesses — for example, diabetes;
- previous gynecological surgeries;
- taking certain medications;
- sexual violence in the past;
- religious and cultural views on sex;
- depression;
- stress;
- anxiety;
- low self-esteem.
Most of these problems can be addressed by a sexologist or he may refer you to another specialist if the cause of anorgasmia is related to physiology.
4. You feel pain during sex
Most often, it is felt by women, although men can also be affected. The reasons Why does sex hurt? can be physiological as well as psychological. In any case, it’s bad: this is your body’s way of saying that there are problems.
Do not ignore discomfort if you often experience it.
See a gynecologist or urologist. If the doctor says everything is fine with your body, but you still feel pain, it’s time to visit a sexologist.
5. You have no sexual desire
It fluctuates throughout our lives and depends on various factors.
Here are just a few reasons Inhibited Sexual Desire , why you may not want sex:
- pregnancy and breastfeeding;
- changes in relationships with a permanent partner (marriage, divorce);
- disability;
- menopause;
- problems in life or at work;
- conflicts;
- toxic relationships;
- lack of emotional connection with a partner;
- negative attitudes towards sex;
- criticism or infidelity from a loved one.
Periodic lack of desire is normal. We are all human, and everyone experiences troubles, stress, and illness. But if you do not want your partner for a long time, it worsens the relationship: leading to quarrels and misunderstandings.
6. You are shy to talk to your partner about sex
Intimate conversations embarrass many, but relationships cannot do without them. If you keep avoiding the sexual topic, you will not understand what your partner wants, and your own desires will remain unexpressed.
You can start small: say that you enjoyed the sex.
Then smoothly transition to questions: ask about preferences in bed. What positions does your partner like? What touches does he enjoy? Does he want to try something new?
If talking is not possible, and merely the thought of it terrifies you, it’s time to consult a specialist. Perhaps the problem is related to attitudes and prohibitions from childhood. A sexologist can help find the cause and get rid of shyness.
7. You are concerned about your sexual orientation
Experts believe Sexual Orientation , that sexual orientation is not a choice, meaning it cannot be changed. However, due to misunderstanding from those around or even their own moral attitudes, people often have to hide Pride in London research: Many LGBT people ‘hide sexuality’ their preferences. Over time, this can lead to stress, anxiety, depression, and even suicide Sexual orientation, gender, and attempted suicide among adolescent psychiatric inpatients .
If you are facing such a problem, it is worth visiting a sexologist. He will not judge you, but will listen and help you understand yourself.
8. You cannot have sex in the light
Often this is related to the fact that a person is shy about their body and does not want their partner to see it. Low self-esteem affects all areas of life, so the problem needs to be addressed quickly. If you feel that another person only sees your faults in bed, it’s time to talk to a sexologist.
9. You do not know how to talk to teenagers about sex
Yes, this problem can also be solved by a sexologist. It is not necessary to sign up for regular sessions. One session is enough for the specialist to explain how to start a conversation properly and what exactly to tell the child. If you are still telling your teenager that you found him in a cabbage, this is your case.
