It doesn't matter why you decided to do this: to distract yourself from thoughts about a recent breakup or out of love for sex. The main thing is to remember a few rules.
1. Find a suitable partner
It’s clear that you won’t be living together or raising children. But still, a partner for sex should at least be physically pleasant for you and want the same as you. It's definitely not worth bringing friends, colleagues, and especially exes to bed. And in general, it's better not to attract people you frequently encounter in real life. For searching, the entire internet with its dating sites and apps is at your disposal.
2. Set boundaries in advance
It is necessary for both of you to clearly understand: your meetings are only for sex and there will be no development of the story towards meeting parents. If possible, discuss details, expectations, and preferences before the date, so there are no unpleasant surprises.
3. Tune in to the fact that everything will be pleasant and light-hearted
No reflexivity and worries. This is just an adventure, and your goal is orgasm, not heart-wrenching experiences. If deep down you still hope that casual sex can turn into a great feeling, then it's better not to start at all.
4. Approach protection responsibly
It’s important that the date goes without psychological or physical consequences. Therefore, don’t rely on anyone else, but be sure to have condoms yourself. And refuse offers to do without them.
5. Talk about light topics
If you manage to talk before or after sex, don’t switch to personal topics. Don’t share information about family or close people. Food, series, sports, weather... There are plenty of things that a man and a woman can talk about!
6. Don’t refuse romance
Mechanical sex without emotions brings little joy, so don’t deprive yourself of some warm-up flirting. Your date can be very romantic, and you can give each other a lot of tenderness and pleasant sensations. Just realize that it's not for real. You are part of a story that will soon end.
7. Be yourself, but a bit different
One of the advantages of a casual connection is that you don’t have to seem better than you are. There’s no point in trying too hard to make an indelible impression. However, it is quite possible to play someone else. If you want to try a new role, to express yourself differently than in ordinary life, this is the perfect occasion.
8. Do not allow insults
Being yourself doesn’t mean being rude, humiliating, insulting, or, even more so, causing pain. Don’t allow rude treatment to either yourself or the other party. Unless, of course, you previously agreed to bring elements of BDSM into your date.
9. Don’t stay overnight
Casual sex with an interesting stranger can be exciting. But waking up in the morning with someone else or seeing a stranger in your kitchen in their nightgown is a dubious pleasure.
It's better to discuss the overnight issue in advance. But the unspoken rule is this: if you are a guest, don’t run away as soon as it’s all over, but don’t linger until morning either. If you are the host, don’t immediately call a taxi, let things settle a bit. But don’t insist on sleeping together with hugs.
10. Write less
It’s not necessary to look for a new sex partner each time if the previous one was completely fine with you. But to avoid creating an illusion of a close connection, limit communication between dates to a minimum.
11. Address grievances
After casual sex, you owe no one anything. If the other party raises complaints or wants something more from you, just remind them of the rules of the game and that nothing has changed for you. That is enough. Don’t get into disputes. Especially since there are none. But if you both (!) changed your minds and decided that there is indeed a relationship, that’s a different conversation.
12. Don’t blame yourself
When you’re not used to it, a night of casual love can end with reflections on your own immorality. All that’s left is to instill the following obvious truth in yourself: there’s nothing wrong with two adults meeting for sex by mutual consent. And that’s that.
