A recent study Women are having three times as many sex dreams as their grandmothers did 50 years ago showed that modern girls aged 16–30 have erotic dreams three times more often than their grandmothers did half a century ago and almost as often as their male peers. The authors explained: women have clearly said goodbye to past restraint, and the subject of sex has stopped being taboo.
If we believe the same source, up to 18% of dreams for both men and women are somehow related to erotic experiences. Sex is dreamed about 3–4 times more often than plots on sports or politics. But the more people experience pleasure or even orgasm in a dream, the more questions arise from "What could it mean?" to "Is everything okay with me?"
To the second question, we will answer right away: erotic dreams are normal. And we will sort out the meanings of some popular plots in more detail.
Sex with a same-sex friend
No, such nighttime visions do not imply latent homosexuality at all. "In dreams, close friendships sometimes reach a new level," explains Sex dreams decoded: The most common reasons why women orgasm in their sleep. popular sexologist, Indiana University professor Debbie Herbenick. — This may indicate a deep emotional closeness between you, but it is in no way related to your sexual orientation."
Sex with an ex-partner
You haven't seen your ex-girlfriend or boyfriend from university days. And suddenly you had crazy sex in your dream. What to do? Maybe it's a sign to write to your ex-love on social media? Don't rush!
Sex therapists assure A Sex Dream About An Ex Might Be Confusing, But Here’s What It Really Means that such dreams are completely natural even for people who are happily married and raising four children. It is unlikely that old feelings are still alive (although sometimes it is indeed the case). While we sleep, our brain is busy sorting memories and creating sometimes unexpected associations.
It is possible that certain nuances of your current relationship remind you of the past. Or you briefly saw someone with vaguely familiar features that awakened nostalgia. And if the sex in the dream was so-so, it may indicate that your priorities have changed and you are starting to think more about your own pleasure.
Erotic dreams with exes may mean that you are trying to rethink past experiences and strive to not repeat mistakes.
Sex with a celebrity
Intimacy with idols is a popular erotic fantasy. But what if you dreamt of having sex with a celebrity you are indifferent to? Why did this person penetrate your subconscious and bed (even if not in reality)?
"Celebrities in dreams often reflect the desire for recognition of some of our merits, efforts, or abilities," believes How seriously should you take your sex dreams? sleep specialist and author of books on the meaning of dreams, Lori Levenberg. — Ask yourself: "What comes to mind first in connection with this star?" A song? Perhaps the answer lies in its title. A movie or series? It is possible that you identify with a character or draw a parallel between the plot and your life."
Levenberg cites the story of one of her clients who dreamed of sex with Lenny Kravitz, although she had never been his fan. Upon hearing the name, the woman immediately thought of the dystopia "The Hunger Games."
It turned out that she was desperately trying to lose weight, but no one noticed her efforts and modest successes. Then the subconscious used the image that Lenny played in the movie to warn: achieving the target weight can only be at the cost of giving up food. Fortunately, the expert managed to convince her that health is more important!
Sex with a boss or colleague
If you are not in love with the hero or heroine of an office plot, then the essence of such a dream is not sexual desires, but career ambitions. Sex with management is a cry What Do Your Sex Dreams Mean? of the subconscious that you feel leadership qualities in yourself and are ready to make responsible decisions.
Intimacy with colleagues is harder to decipher. The aforementioned Lori Levenberg suggests thinking about which three words best describe the person who sneaked into your brain. And then consider which of these traits you would like to "appropriate." Perhaps you secretly admire their decisiveness, sense of humor, or ability to come up with ideas. Use the dream as a hint about which qualities you want to develop in yourself.
Sex with someone who is taboo for you
There are two common interpretations of erotic dreams involving forbidden fruit, such as the wife of your best friend or your sister's husband.
The first explains this phenomenon as subconscious curiosity: what did a close person find in their partner? The second reminds that taboos are always attractive. According to experts What Those Inappropriate Dreams Really Mean , a dream is a safe harbor where we can forget about the restrictions we impose on ourselves day by day. It is no surprise that the main "don't" can become the center of the plot.
In any case, if you suddenly found yourself in bed with your best friend's love, don't torment yourself in the morning with the question: "Maybe I really want this, I'm just afraid to admit it?" Don't complicate your life. It's likely about the experiences that either the "betrayed friend" causes or events and situations not related to them.
A dream about sex with your best friend's partner may be related to violating your boundaries, rivalry, or the guilt you feel for another reason.
Sex with someone you dislike
Yes, that can happen too. After all, sexual experiences can be triggered by a variety of emotions — including anger, which is a form of passion. "A sensual dream may signal that in reality you feel strong anger towards the person," reflects 6 Common Sex Dreams—Decoded psychotherapist Tina Tessina. — Don't dwell on it, separate the dream from true desires."
Sex with a stranger
Psychologist Ian Wallace, who wrote the book "100 Dreams Everyone Has and Their True Meanings," offers the following explanation: "A stranger usually embodies those sides and traits of your character that seem strange or not fully explored to you."
His or her face behind a mask? Most likely, you tend to hide your talent and are shy to express it in real life. Although subconsciously you really want to.
And if it was one of the best sexual experiences of your life and you felt love for the first time in ages? Perhaps in reality you have become too fixated on the technical side of intercourse or the search for the G-spot. Thus, your humane subconscious threw you some emotions that you have missed. What to do when you wake up in the morning? Clearly, it's time to invite your loved one on a romantic date. Then your beautiful erotic dream will come true — at least in part.
