Justin Lehmiller (Justin J. Lehmiller), PhD, former professor at Harvard University, writer and creator of the blog Sex & Psychology, conducted a large-scale study on sexual fantasies involving over 4,000 people. The results were outlined by the social psychologist in the book "Tell Me What You Want," some of which have been published What Your Sexual Fantasies Say About Your Personality on his blog. Lehmiller found that personality traits from the "Big Five The Big Five Personality Traits " — openness to experience, conscientiousness, agreeableness, extraversion, and neuroticism — are closely linked to sexual fantasies.
What do people open to experience fantasize about?
Curious, imaginative people tend to always seek to try something new. Unsurprisingly, the situation is no different here: they fantasize about almost all scenarios — from ordinary to unconventional.
What do conscientious and organized people fantasize about?
Lehmiller writes that such people often lean towards conformity and largely hold traditional views. Their fantasies are detailed and specific. They also focus on the environment and conditions in which they have sex. However, they think much less about BDSM or taboo topics. Perhaps that's because, in sex as well as in other areas of life, they want to conform to accepted norms.
What do extraverts fantasize about?
Both in life and in fantasies, extraverts want to interact with others. They often imagine group sex and think about polyamorous, sexually open relationships. Their fantasies are quite simple — they are satisfied just to try something new. However, forbidden topics arise less frequently.
What do introverts fantasize about?
Here, the situation is quite the opposite: fantasies about forbidden topics prevail. The reason, Lehmiller suggests, lies in the difficulties that arise when interacting with other people in real life, which leads introverts to seek unusual forms of sexual expression.
What do agreeable people fantasize about?
They are kind and attentive to others and want them to be happy. They do not think about BDSM, unemotional sex, infidelities — about situations where they are unsure of consent, safety, and their partner's pleasure. Even in fantasies, such people take others' interests into account.
What do emotionally unstable, stress-prone people fantasize about?
Neurotics rarely think about group sex, new experiences, and polyamory in general, as if they are not interested in trying something new and finding new partners at all. Probably, there is too much uncertainty in this that causes tension. Their fantasies are passionate and romantic. They help to relax and calm down.
How do women’s and men’s fantasies differ?
Men's and women's fantasies are largely similar Seven Fascinating Facts About Sexual Fantasies , but there are also differences. Most often, women envision situations full of passion and romance, their scenarios include more adventure and variety. They also prefer to see themselves as more authoritative than they are in reality and more often fantasize about What your sexual fantasies say about you same-sex relationships and BDSM.
Men dream of group sex more often than women. Moreover, their fantasies are much more emotional than many think. But unlike the opposite sex, they imagine themselves more submissive than they actually are, and are more inclined to switch gender roles and think about taboo topics.
How do the fantasies of younger and older generations differ?
Lehmiller also found a connection Fantasy Island: Research Probes the Science of Sexual Desire between age and fantasies. Thus, younger respondents reported thinking more often about BDSM, while older ones preferred to fantasize about taboo topics and sex with multiple partners.
Also read
- How to stop being ashamed of sexual fantasies →
- How to realize a sexual fantasy: 9 tips for the hesitant →
- 6 gender cliches that will ruin your sex →
