How to properly perform cunnilingus: expert tips

Cunnilingus is undeservedly considered one of the most difficult sexual acts. Apparently, this stereotype stems from another one — about the "complexity" and "mystique" of female genitals. The tips presented below will disprove this absurd opinion.

I will add that I was assisted in their creation by Ian Kerner, author of the book She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide To Pleasuring A Woman. I consider it one of the best sex guides, which covers every aspect of cunnilingus and provides a bunch of techniques.

But let’s finally move on to the instructions.

1. Let your partner relax

Many women experience discomfort during cunnilingus. For some, it is associated with complexes about their own smell and taste or with confidence in the "ugliness" of their genitals. Others worry that the man does not like doing this. Others do not like being the center of attention and cannot relax. As a rule, a woman is hypercritical of her body, so your eyes, nose, and mouth in her most sensitive and vulnerable zone cause at least slight resistance.

Of course, you won't be able to change your partner’s self-perception all at once. But you can help her relax. Kerner says that much of the success will depend on your perception of oral sex.

One of the main misconceptions about cunnilingus is that it is not as pleasurable as penetrative intercourse. The fact: for a vast number of women, it is exactly the opposite.

So let the girl understand that you take the process seriously, that for you it is not foreplay before the "main part" and that it really excites you.

In a chapter titled “The Cunnilingus Manifesto,” Kerner presents three postulates that a man must grasp in order to enjoy the process with his partner:

1. During cunnilingus, you forget about yourself: now your pleasure depends on her pleasure.
2. You are not in a hurry: she deserves all the time in the world. And you want to enjoy every moment.
3. Her smell is exciting, her taste is amazing. And they are both part of the wonderful nature.

If you manage to show your partner that it is all precisely like that for you, you will be among the few super lovers.

2. Prepare your partner and yourself for prolonged pleasure

Foreplay before cunnilingus is another way to relax and arouse the girl. Plus, it is simply necessary: the clitoris is too sensitive, taking it by storm is not the best solution. So take time for kisses, hugs, touches, and talking about your fantasies. And only when the woman is sufficiently aroused, move on to the genitals. But there’s no need to rush there either: start with gentle movements of the tongue up and down.

Note: even after such preparation, your partner will reach orgasm on average after 20 minutes. So take care of your comfort.

Make sure your body is in a comfortable stretched position. Try to position your lips and tongue at a 45-degree angle, not 90 — it will be easier for you. To do this, lean your gums against your partner’s body and your head against her leg. For this to be possible, her legs must be close enough to each other.

If you do not like doing cunnilingus lying down, you can kneel by the bed. But whichever way you choose, make sure that you are comfortable and ready to perform all actions without haste.

3. Master the basic technique of cunnilingus

Another important rule: during cunnilingus, it is better to be gentle and methodical rather than rough and unpredictable. This means that you need to find a way that your partner likes and stick to it.

Kerner suggests the following basic technique:

1. After preparation, focus on licking the area of the anterior commissure (the place just above the glans of the clitoris, where the labia meet). From time to time, caress the clitoris itself with your tongue and index finger.
2. As arousal increases, penetrate the vagina: first with your tongue, then with one or two fingers. But do not make back-and-forth movements. It is better to press your fingers against the front wall of the vagina where the G-spot should be and continue to stimulate the clitoris with your tongue.
3. With your free hand, caress your partner’s breast, stomach, and other erogenous zones.

This method can be used as a starting point. However, do not forget that every woman has her preferences. Some enjoy simultaneous oral and manual stimulation, others do not. Some reach orgasm faster when the clitoris is licked, while others when it is sucked. Watch the girl to understand what brings her more pleasure. Even better — ask directly: she is surely in the know.

4. And once again: pay attention to the anterior commissure

The anterior commissure of the lips is an area that is often ignored in cunnilingus due to its criminal proximity to the well-known clitoris. Kerner claims that pressure on this area stimulates the internal body of the clitoris (yes, yes, the glans is just the tip of the iceberg).

He suggests using the following method: press your upper lip or gum against the area above the clitoral hood and lick the area around the clitoris. If your mouth is at a 45-degree angle to the woman’s body, make the Elvis Presley smile — this positioning of the lips will make the process easier.

5. Prepare for orgasm

When your partner is approaching the finale, Kerner advises her to close her legs tighter to enhance stimulation.

But a more important thing for you to remember: do not change the rhythm and method of stimulation (unless your partner asks otherwise).

For most women, consistent caresses are the main key to orgasm. Therefore, once you discover that specific way, do not change it. Otherwise, you risk remaining in the bedroom with a disappointed girl.

And one last piece of advice: remember that the clitoris is very sensitive after an orgasm. Let your partner rest after cunnilingus before moving on to new activities. And of course, don't forget to tell her how much you enjoyed everything and congratulate yourself on a job well done!