Why are we told everything about the reproductive system in school lessons and nothing about orgasm? Or about how to discuss it with a partner. How to engage in oral sex? How many people learned about sex from pornography or their (equally inexperienced) peers? And parents' attempts — often painfully awkward — only caused embarrassment and a flush of blood to the face. Remember that?
Reddit users also remember and generously share discoveries that — to the delight or sorrow — they made on the way to good sex. Especially girls. Apparently, it has been a sore point.
About realities
- Sex on the beach or in the bathtub may turn out to be not as cool as it looks in the movies.
- If you use food, remember: cream and honey are very sticky.
- You don't have to change positions every 30 seconds, like in pornography. But it's also not necessary to stay in one.
- Sex doesn't really look much like porn.
- Sooner or later you'll do something incredibly awkward. You'll be horrified. A good partner won't care.
- Sex is often strange and ridiculous. And sometimes — absolutely intuitively and wildly beautiful. Slowly, looking into each other's eyes, or quickly and messily. There's no one right way to do it.
- After good, long, passionate sex, you'll have to tidy yourself up, and there's no quick elegant way to do it.
About women
- On average, men achieve orgasm in 2–4 minutes during masturbation. Women need about 2–3 times longer, depending on anatomical features, state of mind, and method of stimulation.
- Many women are aroused by dirty talk (verbal descriptions of fantasies, partner's intentions during sex). Some researchers believe this explains the relative unpopularity of mainstream pornography among women compared to literary erotica. However, many men also really enjoy dirty talk.
- Why do many women fake orgasms? Because many men fake foreplay.
- There are women (50–70%, by various estimates) who cannot climax just from vaginal sex. Direct clitoral stimulation is needed. This is worth discussing. And there's no need to be ashamed of it.
- Scientists have tried but found no other purpose in this part of female anatomy. The clitoris exists solely for pleasure.
- Sextoys were not invented just for masturbation.
- The G-spot does exist, and its sensitivity can often be developed.
- One can also develop Kegel muscles.
- It's useful for girls to empty their bladder after vaginal sex. This prevents certain bacteria from entering the urethra.
- Statistically, women are louder in bed.
- A woman has the right to want and love sex just as much as a man.
About men
- A man won't always be the initiator of sex, his libido won't always be stronger. Men, like women, are very different.
- If a man wants something dirty and naughty in bed, it doesn't mean he doesn't love and respect you. He doesn't love and respect you if he doesn't care whether you want the same.
- Men watch porn. Period. If this makes you uncomfortable (why?), just accept it as a fact. Or watch it too. You can do it together with him.
- During blowjobs, women often don't pay enough attention to their partner's scrotum. Which is a pity.
- For a good blowjob, it's not necessary (and sometimes impossible) to take the penis all the way in. In any case, the most sensitive part is the head.
- The gag reflex is normal, but if you want, you can gradually get rid of it. Practice, practice, practice.
- A wooden girl is not a myth. Most men will prefer if you also show some activity in bed.
- Many men like to dominate. But not all. Don't label them; you know how unpleasant that is. It's better to ask.
- Men often have very sensitive skin on their heads (the one on their shoulders). Run your nails down the back of their neck, let your hand wander through their hair. He'll like it.
About the right attitude
- The number of sexual partners (whether many or few) has nothing to do with your worth as a person.
- Dita Von Teese reminds that beauty is multifaceted, and there will always be people — maybe the whole world, maybe one person — who prefer you over everyone else.
- Sometimes you won't want sex at all. This doesn't make you impotent or frigid.
- Some people don't want sex at all. Ever. You may not understand it, you may disagree with it, but asexuality truly exists.
- The most amazing sex is with the one you love. But love alone doesn't guarantee great sex.
- No one, that is, absolutely no one is born a sex god. It's a skill that has to be learned. And completely or partially relearned with each new partner. Try it. Love each other. Learn to give and experience pleasure. And never be ashamed of anything.
