What you need to know about first sex
This pleasure is not for everyone
There is such a concept: age of consent. It means the age at which, according to criminal law, a girl or a boy is able to consciously consent to sex.
In Russia, Ukraine, and Belarus, this is 16 years.
If one of the partners is younger, problems may arise Criminal Code of the Russian Federation, Article 134. Sexual intercourse and other sexual actions with a person who has not reached the age of sixteen : up to 10 years of imprisonment. Think about it.
First sex can be different
Many believe that the true first sex is the classic vaginal one, with the penetration of the penis into the vagina. But in reality, this is far from the only option.
For some, the first sex is limited to oral foreplay. Some experiment with anal penetration. There are people who prefer to stick to petting and sex toys.
Only you can decide which type of intimate contact is considered true sex.
All of this is within the norm. Do not limit yourself and your partner with conventions. Do what feels comfortable for you.
A girl does not necessarily have to bleed
It is clear that there will be no blood if in your first time you only engage in cunnilingus. But even in classic vaginal intercourse, bleeding does not always occur Does a woman always bleed when she has sex for the first time? .
The virgin hymen is a thin fold of connective tissue that partially covers the vagina. For some girls, this fold is wider and denser, while for others, it is thin, narrow, and elastic. Bleeding depends on this individual characteristic. In some cases, there may be so little blood that it is difficult to notice. And this is also normal.
First sex is one of those things you remember for life
Even if your relationship turns out to be short-lived, you will surely remember the name and face of the person with whom your first time happened. So choose a partner you won't be ashamed to remember in a few years.
How to make the first sex safe and enjoyable
1. First, learn to masturbate
Masturbation is a great way to get to know your own body. This applies to both girls and boys.
By touching and stimulating your own genitals, you will understand what feels good to you and which actions and movements are best to avoid. This experience will come in handy during your first sex: you will be able to tell your partner how to please you.
There are also a dozen reasons to masturbate. Self-pleasure will introduce you to orgasm, teach you to relax, and let your body know that sex is an interesting and enjoyable activity. This means that when your first time comes, you will approach it without unnecessary fears and stiffness.
2. Share your feelings
It's normal to be nervous before the first sex. Boys may worry about size or potential “premature ejaculation”. Girls are concerned about whether it will hurt.
The ideal way to alleviate anxiety is to sincerely talk about it with your partner. It will help you better understand each other and make the relationship closer and more trusting.
3. Discuss the details in advance
You and your partner may have different ideas about the first intimate contact. It’s better to discuss the upcoming process “in advance” so that later there are no complaints like “I expected something different!”.
Moreover, the discussion can serve as a kind of foreplay, which will evoke a conscious desire to try sex with this person.
4. Let go of fantasies
Especially the rough ones. For your body, this is the first time, and you don’t know how it will react or what it will like or dislike. Therefore, let the first sex be as simple and classic as possible. You can try ideas from porn films later, after you gain some experience. If, of course, you want to.
5. Agree on a safe word
Agree in advance on a safe word, after which your partner will immediately stop the process. This is important in case something goes wrong. For example, one of you may feel pain. Or someone may decide to change their mind about having physical intimacy.
By the way, changing your mind is a lawful right of each partner. Respect that.
6. Take care of a comfortable location
Approach the choice of a place for first sex thoughtfully. It should be comfortable and safe, otherwise the risk of “wanted to, but couldn’t” will increase immensely. Ideally, there should be a shower and a toilet nearby that you can quickly access (possibly together) right after.
7. Buy lubricant
Even if you both sincerely dream of having sex, it is possible that at “the moment” the girl's body will not produce the necessary amount of lubrication. Therefore, stock up on lubricant in advance—it will significantly ease penetration.
Tip: buy water-based lubricant. Oil-based gels destroy latex, which is often used to make condoms. And this will make your sex unsafe.
8. Use condoms
You can get pregnant or catch an infection from the first time. Therefore, a condom is an essential accessory.
Later, if you trust each other, you can switch to other methods of preventing unwanted pregnancy—such as an intrauterine device or oral contraceptives. But for the first time (or even times), definitely use a condom. It’s easy, inexpensive, and reliable.
9. Take your time with foreplay
For experienced adult lovers, foreplay can sometimes be an optional option (who hasn’t dreamed of a passionate three-minute sex in an elevator or on an office desk?), but during first sex, it’s a must.
Hugs, kisses, caresses, watching erotic videos together—these are things that will help you relax, and prepare your body for intimacy.
10. Don’t rush
Even if you really want to. The slower and smoother the process, the more your intimate muscles relax. This makes penetration easier.
Besides, you will be able to enjoy the new experience more fully.
11. Try different sex positions
The classic missionary position is a fail-safe option because in it you can see each other’s faces, and it generally resembles an embrace. But that doesn’t mean you should limit yourself to just this one.
Here are a few simple sex positions for beginners:
- girl on top;
- 69;
- boy from behind.
The first time, you will hardly try them all. And that’s not necessary. Just choose the position that will be the most comfortable for your couple. And get the maximum pleasure from it.
12. Talk to each other during the process
There is a stereotype that sex is often verbally limited to passionate moans. But that’s not entirely correct.
Don’t be silent. Communication during sex makes it a much more fun and interesting activity. And most importantly, it helps you relax and respond more sensitively to your partner’s desires.
Ask questions: “Is this good for you?”, “What if I touch here? Here?”. Share your own feelings with your partner: which of their movements make your sensations more vivid, what you would like to repeat, and what you don’t like.
13. Don’t try to necessarily reach orgasm or prolong it
For boys, orgasm during first sex can happen too quickly. For girls, on the contrary, it may not happen at all. And it’s important to understand that both situations are normal.
Sex is a skill that is honed over time. Just like driving, riding a bike, or, say, learning to read: you can’t become an expert at it on your first try.
Remember that failures are natural, and as you practice, there will be fewer of them. And more pleasure.
14. Don’t talk about sex to others
Especially to those who cannot keep a secret. Sex is an intimate matter. It concerns only the two of you. Respect each other’s feelings.
