The popularity of tantric sex is largely due to the singer Sting, who once spoke about a seven-hour love marathon with his wife. Later, the idol of millions explained: dinner and watching television were included in the seven hours. And this seems more like the truth. Essentially, in tantric sex, the sexual act itself lasts from 15 minutes for beginners to 2–3 hours for experienced marathoners.
What is tantric sex and why try it at all
The word "tantra" has several literal translations from Sanskrit: "weaving loom," "fabric," "thread on which something is threaded." In a metaphorical sense, it refers to some primal and infinite energy that permeates and connects all living things.
The complex and extensive teaching of tantra originated several thousand years ago in India and later developed within Buddhism. It touches on all the main spheres of human life, and sexual practices are an important but not the primary part of the teaching.
Engaging in tantric sex means working with masculine (Shiva) and feminine (Shakti) sexual energy for spiritual growth. Merging as one, partners achieve maximum enlightenment. The modern person has neither the time nor the need to dive into a somewhat outdated system. It is enough to take away something useful from there, such as the idea of slow intercourse.
Tantric sex helps to strengthen the emotional bond with a partner and is beneficial Here Is How And Why Everyone Can Benefit From Tantric Sex for health in general.
During intimacy, the level of stress hormones decreases, while serotonin production skyrockets.
What to remember
Tantric sex requires basic preparation of the body and mind. To make it work, it would be good to learn to meditate, do breathing exercises, and stretch in advance.
You will also need:
- Time for preparation (preferably no less than two days) and for the process itself (at least two hours).
- A comfortable space where no one and nothing will distract you.
- A constant partner with whom you have a long-term and trusting relationship. Acquaintances do not fit well for slow sex, as the goal is deep emotional intimacy.
How to prepare the body
For starters, this point can be skipped. But for those who aim to reach heights in tantric sex, it is necessary to consider the following recommendations.
1. Abstain
It is advisable to accumulate sexual energy so that it lasts for an extended sex marathon. The minimum period of abstinence is two days.
2. Avoid heavy foods
To feel light in the body, do not eat anything meaty and fatty at least the day before sex. Honey, fruits, and nuts are your everything.
3. Stretch properly
A set of stretching exercises performed shortly before the meeting will help you better control your body.
How to prepare the space
Tantric sex cannot be practiced on a kitchen table, a creaky bed, or an uncomfortable sunken sofa. No sharp corners and unpleasant extraneous sounds — everything around should set the mood for pleasure and tranquility.
1. Try to achieve a comfortable temperature
If the room is hot and stuffy, ventilate the space. If there is an air conditioner, keep the temperature between 20–22 °C.
2. Light candles or night lights
Tantra recommends making love during the day, to see and admire the partner. But for shy beginners, the evening will also work. Provided that you ensure soft, eye-comfortable lighting — with candles or night lamps.
3. Fill the room with your favorite scents
Light incense sticks, spray pillows with essential oils, place a bouquet of fresh flowers. Any scents that you find pleasant but not too intrusive are good.
4. "Soften" the atmosphere
Scatter pillows around, lay a fluffy blanket on the floor, cover the bed with smooth silk sheets. Anything that softens sharp corners and makes the surrounding space more comfortable is suitable.
How to release the tension of the day
This can be done alone or together with a partner.
1. Play relaxing music
This can be a calm meditative melody. Even better — the sounds of live nature.
2. Meditate
10–15 minutes of meditation will help get rid of extraneous thoughts and focus on the upcoming pleasure. Imagine that energy flows through your body from your head to the ground.
3. Do breathing exercises
Before intimacy, it is advisable to dedicate about 15 minutes to them (or better — 30). The success of tantric sex largely depends on the ability to breathe correctly. We offer three exercises to choose from.
Stimulating breath
"Activates" the flow of energy and develops awareness.
- Close your eyes and relax your abdominal muscles.
- For 15 seconds, breathe frequently through your nose, with your mouth closed. Ideally, if you can manage to take three breaths and exhales per second.
- After the cycle is finished, breathe normally.
- Again breathe frequently, this time for 20 seconds.
- Increase each cycle by 5 seconds until you reach one minute.
4–7–8 breathing
Helps to release tension and relax.
- Inhale through the mouth, then close your mouth.
- Take a deep breath through your nose, counting to four.
- Hold your breath, counting to seven.
- Exhale fully through your mouth, counting to eight.
- Repeat the exercise four times.
Counting breath
Allows you to clear your thoughts and establish a connection between mind and body.
- Close your eyes and take three deep breaths.
- Breathe a little in your normal mode.
- Inhale and exhale on the count of "one."
- On the next exhale, count to two. Repeat until you reach five.
- Repeat the entire cycle from one to five for 10 minutes.
How to tune in to your partner
Even if everything is great already, this is not enough for a full exchange of energies and deep connection.
1. Establish eye contact
And do not lose it again. Both foreplay and the actual sex should be done with wide-open eyes, as prescribed by tantra.
2. Lie down hugging each other
This can even be done while clothed. It is not necessary to be completely naked during tantric sex. The main thing is that you feel comfortable. Feel the closeness of your loved one’s body, hear their heartbeat. But do not forget about the soul — continue looking into each other's eyes. While hugging, you exchange energies and continue to strengthen the bond between you.
3. Synchronize breathing
Inhale and exhale simultaneously with your partner. A more advanced variant is to exhale when the other inhales.
4. Try a tantric kiss
During the kiss, exhale onto your partner's inhale. And vice versa. This way, you will be exchanging breath, which only enhances the energy exchange.
5. Give each other an erotic massage
It does not matter how and with what you will massage your partner. The main thing is not to miss anything. Ideally, it would be great if you can pay attention to every cell of their body, every bulge and dip.
How to engage in tantric sex
The main thing is, don't rush.
1. Master the yab-yum position
In tantric sex, there are many positions of varying complexity. But you should start with the classics. In the yab-yum position, which translates from Tibetan as "father-mother," the Hindu god Shiva and his wife Shakti unite (that is, perfect themselves). It's simple:
- The partner sits on the floor, crossing their legs (ideally in a lotus position, but whatever works);
- The partner sits on top, wrapping their legs around the man's torso;
- One hand each partner places on each other’s neck, and the other on the lower back.
Yab-yum helps to establish energy exchange and create a powerful tantric connection between partners.
Then follow the already known rules: don’t rush, synchronize your breathing, and look into each other’s eyes.
2. Experiment
If you are not feeling great about yab-yum yet, try any other position that feels comfortable for you position. But it’s better if you face each other and can control the process together.
3. Breathe deeper
During sex, try to control your breathing. It should be even and smooth. And also — as deep as possible. Breathe not only with your chest but also with your abdomen.
4. Work with the energy flow
Focus on the slow and synchronous movement of your bodies. Imagine that energy rises from the genitals up the spine, spreading throughout the body, reaching the crown, and flowing to your partner. We warn you: not all beginners can visualize the entire path from bottom to top and not laugh.
5. Control arousal
If you feel that climax is near, take a break and wait until the arousal subsides a bit. And do this several times until you reach a simultaneous orgasm, bright and powerful. And if you don't reach one — that's also not a tragedy. Remember that in tantric sex, this is generally the tenth thing. It was all started for enlightenment, expanding consciousness, and uniting souls.
