What are sex parties
Sex parties are gatherings with music and a show program, where participants can engage in sex. However, this is not mandatory: no one has the right to force another, everything is strictly voluntary. So many come just to watch or enjoy the atmosphere.
Sex parties can be different. Somewhere, like at a kink party, the dress code is important; somewhere partners are exchanged, and somewhere people simply interact more freely and openly than in regular clubs.
The number of participants can also vary: from several dozen to hundreds. The average age is between 25 and 40 years, but there are people significantly older.
All the people there were so positive: you make eye contact, and they smile at you. I even liked some of the girls. I had never felt attracted to them before, but the energy here is wild, everything is instantly interesting.
Why people go to sex parties
Everyone has their own reasons, but here is a list of the most common ones.
- To have sex without building relationships and taking on commitments.
- To fulfill intimate fantasies. Here, everyone can easily and safely realize what they've long dreamed of: having sex in front of others, starting a connection with a stranger, trying BDSM and other unusual practices.
- To diversify sex in a couple. Some enjoy seeing that their partner is liked by others. Some people are aroused by engaging in sex with outsiders in front of their regular partner. Some couples at the party avoid sexual contact, keeping all the most pleasurable experiences until they return home together, excited by the new experience.
- To meet new people. It's quite possible to start a relationship, fall in love, or even find a life partner at a sex party.
- To know oneself. A new experience, especially such an unconventional one, helps better understand your needs.
- Just to watch. Curiosity is a perfectly valid reason to attend such an event.
My partner and I went to the kink party for the emotions and novelty. We had a rough idea of what to expect, but there was still a ton of adrenaline. We walked around, looked at everyone, I relaxed, and we had a great time together. Then we also spent half the night having sex at home.
Who might not enjoy sex parties
- Those who can't say "no". Of course, voluntariness is the main principle of any sex party, and organizers like to emphasize this. But if you can’t refuse, there’s a chance you might engage in contact that you didn’t want and end up receiving unpleasant sensations instead of pleasure.
- Those who go against their will to please their partner. Most likely, you won’t be able to relax and will blame your partner for being in an uncomfortable situation.
- Those who have troubled relationships and hope to strengthen them in this way. If there’s unspoken tension, jealousy, and boredom in the couple, then having sex with other people will likely only make things worse.
How to choose a sex party
At a sex party, it’s important to enjoy yourself and not have problems. So approach the choice responsibly.
Determine the type of party
As we mentioned, intimate gatherings can be different, but they can be conditionally divided into three groups.
- Mixed sex-positive parties. They are for everyone who wants fun with a erotic twist. A popular format for beginners, as it doesn’t require special preparation. Here you can simply dance and watch the show, kiss and have sex with people you like or your partner.
- Swinger parties. These are most often attended by couples looking to try intimacy with other partners, but singles are sometimes allowed too. There are few random people, onlookers, and couples who only engage in sex with each other.
- Kink parties are themed costume gatherings, sometimes resembling an erotic carnival. The English word kinky translates to "strange" and often indicates non-standard sexual interests. However, the theme of kink parties can be anything.
Think about whether you are interested in themed gatherings or neutral ones, whether you are ready to undress or wear a latex suit, whether you plan to have sex in public areas or only in private ones. Based on this, choose the appropriate format.
The easiest way to find an event for the first time is to search the internet for “sex parties city”, “swinger parties city,” or “kink parties city” — depending on where you want to go. But be careful: not all public gatherings are safe and well-organized. If anything makes you uneasy, look for another option.
Find out as much as possible about the organizers
While you have little experience, it's best to attend parties organized by well-established hosts. They know how to create a good atmosphere and maintain safety. You can contact them through the party's website, which usually has an email address, a feedback form, or other contact details.
Try to gather as much information about the event as possible. After all, your safety is at stake.
Generally, organizers are open to communication, so don’t hesitate to ask them questions. Be sure to find out if there will be volunteers in the club monitoring order and how the admission system works. Usually, participants are told everything that interests them to ensure they get the most pleasure from the gathering and want to come back again.
Consider who will be at the sex party
The more expensive the ticket, the more respectable the attendees will be. So, while you have little experience, prefer parties where applications must be submitted in advance and where the ticket costs at least 3,000 rubles.
Ask the organizers if the ratio of men to women is regulated: when everyone has a chance to choose a partner, it maintains a healthy atmosphere.
Find out what criteria are used to select guests: the stricter the requirements, the safer you will be at the party.
It's good when administrators have the opportunity to talk with a potential participant in advance, to ensure their adequacy and that they understand where they are going. Sometimes, to verify the latter, organizers ask to send a photo in a costume. In this case, refusal can be received if, for example, the photo is in BDSM attire for a non-themed party.
Don’t forget to ask if there is a face control at the entrance: it will filter out the drunk, inadequate individuals and too large groups.
Read reviews
It’s good if you can find information about previous events organized by these hosts and other happenings at the club you plan to visit. Some participants share their impressions on social media. Sometimes reviews of past parties and invitations to upcoming gatherings can be found on specialized sex forums online.
Study the program
Make sure to clarify what kind of music will be played and how interesting the proposed show is to you. Even if you are going to the party just for sex, it’s unlikely you will find it right from the start; it will take some time. A quality program and a pleasant background will be very helpful to relax and not get bored.
Check if they make photo reports
Many parties have a photographer. Ask the organizers if one will be at the one you’ve chosen: you probably wouldn’t want to end up in that kind of photo report. You can always ask the photographer verbally or with a gesture not to take your photo. But if you are openly posing, you will likely have the opportunity to admire your portrait on the website later.
On the other hand, photos from past parties can give you an idea of what the format of the event will be like, what costumes are expected, and what to generally prepare for.
Remember: participants are strictly prohibited from taking photos. Sometimes, attendees are asked to leave their phones in storage along with other personal belongings.
How to prepare for your first sex party
Here’s what you need to do in advance to ensure everything goes well on the designated day.
Think about who you will go with
It’s perfectly normal to attend a sex party alone, with friends, or with your sexual partner. Too large groups may not be permitted: usually, they have their own atmosphere and may disrupt the general vibe. But two couples of acquaintances is a perfectly acceptable option. The main thing is that you feel completely comfortable with these people.
Define your boundaries
There’s a chance that at the event, due to an abundance of impressions, loud music, and alcohol, you won’t be able to think clearly. Therefore, plan in advance what you would ideally like from the party and what you absolutely are not ready for.
The most important considerations can even be written down for reliability and reread before the start.
This way, you will be able to keep your head, not regret your actions, or the opportunities you missed.
Discuss acceptable boundaries with your partner
If you decide to go together, be sure to talk about what each of you expects from the sex party, what is allowed, and what is not. Don’t hope that everything will just work out: this kind of experience can be too difficult a test for a relationship, so all efforts should be made to avoid grievances and misunderstandings. This is important even for couples who already have experience with intimate parties and group sex.
Decide whether you will interact with others or just with each other. Agree on what to do if one of you finds a partner and the other does not. Provide for the possibility to leave together if one of you feels uncomfortable.
Submit an application or buy a ticket
Parties can be open to the public or vice versa. For some, it's enough to buy a ticket on the day of the event, while for others, an application must be submitted in advance for your candidacy to be considered. This is specified on the website or in correspondence with the organizers.
Familiarize yourself with the party rules
Rules at different parties are usually similar and are outlined on the event's website. Here’s a typical example Manifesto :
- Permissiveness (within the framework of Russian law).
- Civility. If you want to communicate with someone, make sure the participant is not opposed.
- Self-care. If someone touches you who you are not interested in, tell them directly "no." Otherwise, you may be misunderstood.
- Communication. Ask for permission before doing anything with a stranger.
- Confidentiality. It is categorically forbidden to take photos and to take photos.
- Mandatory dress code.
Prepare your outfit
Wear what you like and what doesn’t contradict the rules. The main thing is to remember comfort: if you are uncomfortable in heels, wear flats. If a bright costume scares you, opt for a more neutral one. When you feel good, you look attractive to other participants, regardless of the depth of the neckline and the color of the tie.
People were dressed coolly, with imagination. It seems to me they prepare all these costumes for a month, like for a carnival, but many also rent them.
Check if you have STIs
Think not only about your safety but also about your responsibility towards other participants. Under no circumstances should you attend the party if you have even the slightest suspicion of sexually transmitted infections. Even if you feel fine, see a gynecologist or urologist and get tested. Condoms are useful, but caution never hurts.
Gather everything you need
At parties, there are usually contraceptives and lubricants, but no one knows what you specifically need. Many events allow bringing your own vibrators and other toys. Gather everything you usually use during sex. Think about where you will store it: you probably won't be allowed to bring a bag into the hall.
When you are ready and everything is packed, take a breath and smile: you are in for an interesting and exciting experience!
