The attitude towards this type of sex is controversial. On one hand, for some men, the very thought of being in bed with a representative of their own sex, especially naked, seems unbearable. On the other — it’s enough to look at thematic resources to discover that the videos from the MFM category have millions of views.
Such interest is quite understandable: sex with two men is perceived as almost the best way to reliably bring a woman to orgasm. After all, a pair of partners is capable of providing double pleasure. But even in such a pleasant and tempting situation, all its participants may face several unpleasant discoveries. And it’s better to learn about them in advance.
What can ruin sex with two men
Before letting your imagination run wild, it’s worth carefully considering how to navigate a few obvious stumbling blocks.
Partners may lack trust
To really enjoy sex in a threesome and not just go through the obligatory program, it’s necessary to relax. To listen to yourself and your feelings, rather than distract yourself with thoughts like “what's on my partner's mind” or “do I look good enough”.
In sex with two men, the problem of trust is aggravated. This is especially true for the woman, as she is the center of attention for both partners. It is extremely important that she has a 'point of support' — the confidence that she can fully and unconditionally trust each of them.
Partners may not realize what they agreed to
Sometimes, homophobia unintentionally manifests even in those men who consider themselves modern and free from prejudices.
Therefore, each partner needs to understand clearly that by agreeing to MFM sex, he will definitely end up in the same bed with another excited man. It will likely be impossible to avoid touches and accidental caresses.
Fear, irritation, disgust — such emotions, even if carefully hidden, will ruin all pleasure from the sex for three.
Partners may have different ideas about sex
One of the participants in the knowledge exchange social network Quora shares Have you ever had sex with two men at a time? How does it feel to have a threesome? about her unsuccessful experience: “Sometimes men have completely different ideas about what they should do. For example, one was happy to have sex with me. But the other was content just being nearby and watching or simply stroking my hand. This wasn’t quite what I expected from sex with two men.”
What to do to ensure sex with two men brings pleasure
1. Start with trust
The ideal MFM scenario is when a long-established, trusting couple decides to diversify their intimate life and invites a third into the bed.
This doesn’t mean that sex in a threesome can’t be engaged in, for example, with an old friend. But it is essential to ensure that all participants can trust each other and openly discuss their feelings, concerns, and desires.
2. Discuss your fantasy with your main partner
At this stage, it is important to understand what the ideal threesome sex might look like. Of course, it won’t be possible to plan everything in advance, but at least you can discuss fantasies and find out how your partner feels about them. For such conversations, it’s best to choose a time when both feel as relaxed and open as possible, for example, after sex or while chatting over a glass of wine.
Provocative questions can help to understand what the partner thinks about MFM or what bothers him. For example: “Would you like to have sex with me while someone else caresses my breasts?” or “How would you feel if another man entered you from behind while I kissed you on the lips and looked into your eyes?”.
If the partner does not respond to these ideas and especially if such conversations make him uncomfortable, the topic will have to be closed.
3. Ensure that all potential MFM participants truly want it
The rule of consent in sex is always important. When asked if you want to try a threesome, each participant should respond with interest: “Yes, that would be curious.”
If this does not happen or if one of the participants agrees to the experiment under psychological pressure, succumbing to persuasion, sex with two men may be hopelessly ruined. Resentment, thoughts like “I was forced,” “I was used” may risk destroying the relationship in the future.
4. Ensure that the men will be comfortable
Men in MFM relationships do not necessarily have to be bisexual. It is enough for them to react calmly to a representative of their gender who is nearby in a naked and excited state.
Ideally, one man should have certain warm (friendly, understanding) feelings toward the other.
5. Carefully approach the search for the third
This is all individual. The third can be a family friend, a new acquaintance from a vacation spot, or a man who responded to an offer on a specialized forum or dating site. It is only important that this person is liked and inspires trust in the others.
6. Meet and chat in a group before sex
This is necessary to establish an emotional connection and set boundaries of what is acceptable.
For example, do the participants want the men to touch each other, or is anal sex acceptable. The man in the existing couple may be against the third partner kissing the woman on the lips. All such moments should be discussed in advance.
The outcome of the meeting may be a refusal of the threesome. Such a decision can be irrevocable if one of the participants in the established couple realizes that he is not ready to let a stranger into the bed. Or it may concern a specific third partner if his attitude towards sex, worldview, appearance, gestures turns out to be unacceptable for someone.
7. Agree on a safe word in advance
During sex with two men, a woman is not always able to control what each of them is doing. Meanwhile, some actions may be unacceptable.
For example, initially, all participants in the process agreed that they had no objections to anal sex, but during the intimate play, the female partner realized that she was not ready for that type of contact. In romantic fervor, the two men may persuade her, insist on their own. However, there is a risk that later the thought “I didn’t want it, I was forced” will become a reason for resentment and ruin the entire impression.
A safe word is a necessity. When it is spoken, all participants in the process should pause and return to sex only after renouncing the idea that is unacceptable from any participant's point of view.
Pronouncing the safe word is also a reason to stop the game completely. At any moment, one of the partners has the full right to indicate that he is uncomfortable and that this type of sexual contact does not suit him. If this happens, the participants should stop, get dressed, thank each other for the attempt, and part ways while maintaining maximum goodwill.
8. Consider comfortable positions
Here are some well-established options.
Voyeurs
One man and a woman have sex in any position they find comfortable (the most viewable would be doggy style), while the second watches the process and masturbates.
This is a good option for people who are having a threesome for the first time, especially for the one partner who is invited into the couple from the outside. This way, he has the opportunity to prepare before fully engaging in the game.
A man who enjoys watching sex or a couple who gets excited when being watched will also like this position.
Double penetration
The girl, on all fours, performs oral sex on one of the men, who is kneeling in front of her. Meanwhile, the second one penetrates the partner from behind in the doggy style position.
It is ideal if oral sex is performed by the couple while the invited third enters the woman from behind. She does not see him, so she maintains the feeling as if she is having sex with her usual partner. This helps relieve tension and relax.
Double anal-vaginal penetration
A position for those partners who have agreed on the possibility of anal sex. The woman sits on her familiar partner in a cowgirl position, and when the penis enters the vagina, she leans toward him with her whole body. Her buttocks lift slightly, and the third partner enters the anus from behind.
69 1
The woman and one of the men engage in oral sex in the 69 position, with the girl on top. The second man, kneeling, penetrates the partner from behind. In this position, the partner who is underneath will be able to observe the process of penetration and friction in all details.
9. Ensure safety
Using condoms is as important as adhering to the rule of consent. This protects against unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.
10. Remember that no one should leave upset
Pleasure is the only reason to engage in sex with two men. In any of its moments, all three participants should be involved in the sexual game. No one should be left deprived. This is something to keep an eye on.
