Men's Mistakes
According to Watson, most men come to therapy to pump up their sexual skills. But the problem is usually not related to their mastery. The mistake lies in one or several of the points listed below.
1. Misinterpret a woman's lack of desire
A woman's attractiveness is immediately communicated to men by her body. Just the sight of an unfamiliar beauty or their own partner can cause partial erection. For women it's all different. Their arousal is linked to imagination and fantasy, so they need more time to get in the mood for sex.
So it’s best not to take their partner's lack of immediate desire too personally. It's better to stretch the seduction process a bit.
2. Experience disappointment due to her slow arousal
This mistake is closely related to the previous one. Women gradually get in the mood for sex and slowly become aroused. This is a matter of physiology, nothing more. But if the partner feels that the man is disappointed by her slow capabilities, her desire diminishes even more slowly. Or it may completely disappear.
Solution: relax, don't rush and enjoy every moment.
3. Rush too quickly to the genitals
Many men prefer genital stimulation over everything else and think that women share their preference. This is a mistake. A woman's physical arousal is not yet a signal for a swift transition to the main event. On the contrary, premature genital stimulation can kill desire.
Solution: it's best to wait a little longer while continuing to caress the partner's whole body.
4. Focus on their erection
Men who care too much about their erection can destroy the sense of intimacy during sex.
If they are focused on delaying ejaculation, the woman may feel isolated, forgotten. To reassure her, Watson advises men to stay connected, to talk to her about their desire.
If the erection weakens, it's a good time to use this moment for an additional round of foreplay.
In the case of rapid ejaculation, one can tell the partner that the reason is her incredible sexuality. And resort to oral sex. It's no worse than regular intercourse.
5. Stimulate only the vagina
The tip of the clitoris is roughly the same as the tip of the penis. Is it worth mentioning that exclusive vaginal stimulation is not very effective? Yes, of course, there are exceptions. But still, more often than not, the clitoris is the center of a woman’s sexual pleasure.
Women's Mistakes
Women who have problems in sex often associate them with a lack of a perfect body or fantastic skills, like porn stars. According to Lori Watson, all of this has little to do with reality. The reason is likely related to the following mistakes.
1. Hint too subtly
Many women believe that men can read minds. Therefore, instead of directly stating their desire or demonstrating it through action, they resort to a system of subtle hints understood only by themselves.
Solution: forget about telepathy. Words and unambiguous touches are more effective.
2. Talk little about their desires
Saying one's preferences once may not be enough. An aroused man can easily forget all the nuances that you like (especially if they were mentioned in passing six months ago). Don't hesitate to remind him of them. It's better than waiting, enduring, and sulking, thinking that he simply doesn't want to please you.
3. Focus on the flaws of their body
Men derive pleasure just from the presence of a real, naked, and attractive woman. At that very moment, women often think about their body's flaws. A stream of self-criticism distances women from the process, reduces desire, and makes sex dull and bland.
If you have such a problem, try to distract yourself from the criticism by shifting your focus to bodily sensations. Try to listen to your breathing, feel the pleasure of touch. And think less.
4. Worry about doing everything right
To truly please a partner, one must enjoy oneself. Watson notes that in sex therapy, women are more often concerned about how correctly they behave in bed. As a result, anxiety prevents them from relaxing and exploring their own feelings.
Solution: just ask the man what exactly and how he likes it. This is much better than spending extra effort mastering the ideal, detached from practice, technique.
5. Touch lightly or uncertainly
Most men are aroused by women's confidence, including in touch. Women, on the contrary, often do this excessively gently — the way that pleases them. Furthermore, Watson notes that often men complain that their partners avoid touching their genitals or wait for a special invitation.
Her advice is to stop pretending to be modest. Kiss passionately, wrap tightly, and touch without hesitation. In short, prove your interest through action.
Do you have any other complaints about the opposite sex? Feel free to share them in the comments.
