Hardcore bed games have several indisputable advantages The Rough Stuff: Understanding Aggressive Consensual Sex compared to regular sex.
- Women report achieving orgasm faster when their partner acts rough and aggressively.
- Men say they experience more physical pleasure when taking on the role of a dominating dominant.
Of course, this is not a guarantee that hardcore sex will work for you. However, it’s worth trying at least once. Naturally, while following certain safety techniques.
What to consider before engaging in hardcore sex
Obtain consent
Rough sex is an intimate game, not violence. Its purpose is to bring variety and be pleasurable for both parties. So, before adding a bit of harshness, make sure your partner is okay with it.
Consent must be expressed unequivocally. For example, like this: "Yes, I also want to try this." If you just think that your partner won't object, that doesn’t count.
Come up with a safe word
Hardcore sex is not a technique BDSM (it is originally built on causing pain and humiliation). Roughness in this case is meant to emphasize the partners' passion. For example: a man desires his woman so much that he can't hold back, so without foreplay, he lifts her skirt and enters with a powerful thrust. And the woman, in turn, desires the man so much that she can’t resist him.
Nevertheless, rough sex can also cause pain. It is important for the dominant partner to clearly understand when to stop. For this, discuss a safe word in advance — a short phrase that, upon hearing it, you both will immediately stop the sexual play.
In BDSM, the word "red" is often used as an analogy to the prohibitive signal of a traffic light. If nothing else comes to mind, borrow this safe term.
Be ready to switch roles
Once again, let’s say: hardcore sex is primarily a game. And each lover has their role in it. Traditionally, the man is the strong, dominant macho who takes what he wants, while the woman is the fragile princess forced to submit to the male onslaught.
But this is not the only possible option. Conservative patriarchy has long been shaken, so a woman can very well be a fierce and proud amazon, triumphing over her submissive captive. With the consent of both parties, of course.
Remember that hardcore sex is not just a sexual act
The essence of this type of intimacy is not in rough coitus. It lies in one partner demonstrating complete control over the other. And in the fact that both parties are so consumed with desire that they cannot hold back their impulses. Therefore, foreplay is often (not always) absent. "He took her roughly, without preliminary caresses" — such episodes appear in many women's novels, and judging by their print runs, women enjoy them.
Hardcore sex can also be accompanied by:
- Slaps on the buttocks. This element of the love game is called spanking.
- Scratches. The kind left by women's claws on a man's back. The main thing here is not to overdo it.
- Bite marks. The recommendation is the same as in the previous point — when biting the chest, neck, or ear of your partner, don’t overdo it.
- Hair pulling. Some girls get aroused when a man gathers their hair in a fist and thereby gains even more control over them. But let’s remind: if you are a man and plan to try such a trick, ask your partner about her opinion beforehand. Or at least carefully watch her reaction and be ready to release her hair at any moment.
- Rude words. Indecencies whispered in the ear can sometimes also raise the temperature of the love game. If, of course, the partner does not mind.
Borrow from these techniques those that seem most exciting to you.
Take care of each other after you're done
Rough sex looks like rape. After it, the submissive partner may feel vulnerable, "used." To ensure the sex doesn’t leave negativity, finish it with a tender kiss and spend some time hugging and talking.
What positions are best for hardcore sex
In these positions, one partner's control over the other is most evident.
1. Doggy style
The kneeling-elbow position has dozens of variations. But they all share one thing — complete control over the situation by the man.
Additional bonuses: maximum possible depth of penetration, a beautiful view (doggy style looks very aesthetic in the mirror), and mobility (you can have sex in this position almost anywhere: in the bedroom, in the kitchen, during a work break in the office, or in a forest glade).
2. Missionary with legs raised
Sometimes this position is called "officer's": the woman lies on her back, the man is above her, her legs are on his shoulders, like epaulettes.
In this position, the girl is completely at the partner's mercy. He regulates the depth and angle of penetration while effortlessly holding the partner down, easily suppressing any slight resistance.
3. Man from behind
A classic scene from the film "Last Tango in Paris." However, the characters played by Marlon Brando and Maria Schneider engaged in hardcore sex in anal form. You can borrow their solution or choose a more traditional option.
4. On the table
Like in the case of doggy style, there are many variations for sex on the table. The most suitable for hardcore sex looks like this: the man turns the woman to face away from him, bends her over the surface of the table, and, leaning over his partner from above, enters from behind.
5. Cowgirl
An ideal option for a situation where the dominant partner is a woman. "Riding" the man, she can fully feel like the mistress of the situation, as it’s the "cowgirl" who regulates the pace, angle, and depth of penetration.
But the man in this position can also take control: he just needs to grasp his partner's forearms — and then he can literally impale her on his penis.
6. Standing, leaning against the wall
The girl stands next to the wall, leaning against it with her back. The man lifts her leg and, holding under her thigh, enters.
In this position, it’s difficult for the partner to maintain balance, so the girl is literally in the man's hands and forced to submit.
7. Oral sex
The perfect "rough" option: the man stands, holding the head of the woman who has dropped to her knees in front of him. It’s a submissive position in which the partner practically controls the pace and depth of penetration.
