Sex looks little like scenes from porn: in real life, you might pin your partner's hair with your elbow, feel a cramp and - let's be honest - generate sounds and smells that you certainly wouldn’t call sexual. Below is a list of awkward situations that anyone can find themselves in, along with tips for addressing them.
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1. Calling your partner by an ex's name
This happens all the time, but that doesn't mean your current partner will take the situation humorously. The moment will require emotional processing.
What to do
First of all, apologize and assure your partner that you want to be with them only, and that past relationships are over.
2. Facial expression during orgasm
As you approach orgasm, people stop controlling themselves. And at that moment, they don't look cute at all.
What to do
Remember that this is a good sign - it indicates that you are immersed in what is happening and in your sensations. Only by letting go of your body can you enjoy the moment.
3. Gas
One of the most awkward moments in sex is when one partner passes gas. We tend to feel ashamed about it. But in moments of intimacy, it's important to be free and relaxed, which is hard to reconcile with our usual reaction to flatulence.
What to do
Instead of getting embarrassed, laugh. If needed, take a little break and remind yourself that you're just human.
4. Unexpected fluids
Neither women in menopause nor men who have had prostate cancer are immune to accidental urination, and breastfeeding mothers may leak milk during arousal. We tend to think of some fluids as sexual and others as not. But the truth is, sex is messy and unpredictable.
What to do
Don't let extra fluid stop you. Urine is harmless and won't bother anyone. And breast milk is just a sign of arousal.
5. A child in the bedroom
No one wants a child to be nearby at the moment of truth. If it does happen, try not to dramatize it too much.
What to do
Throw on a robe, return the child to their room, and answer any questions they have, then explain the situation in understandable terms. For example: "Don't worry, no one got hurt. Mom and Dad were just engaged in a special kind of love wrestling."
If the child is a bit older, you can explain the essence more specifically. For example: "Parents express their love physically. You probably won’t understand this now, but when you grow up, we will explain everything to you."
And yet it's better not to tempt fate and simply put a lock on the bedroom door.
6. Bad breath
Unfresh breath kills morning desire.
What to do
If the issue is critical, quickly brush your teeth. Or kindly ask your partner to do the same. Don't let such small things ruin a promising start to the day.
7. Problems with orgasm
Too quickly, too late, no orgasm at all, or just not the right one? It can vary, but if the goal of sex is just orgasm, you risk ruining the relationship.
What to do
If problems with orgasm have been around for a long time, consult a sexologist. And if it's a one-time occurrence, suggest to your partner how to improve. Or ask yourself.
Intimate life, like regular life, is unpredictable and has its ups and downs. Remember that today sex may be romantic, tomorrow - bland, and the day after tomorrow - awkward. But if you feel that your partner loves you and is striving for continuous sexual growth, the ridiculous moments between you will become fewer and fewer.
