Why do they teach us everything about the reproductive system in school and nothing about orgasm? Or how to discuss it with a partner. How to have oral sex? How many people learned about sex from pornography or from their (equally inexperienced) peers? And the attempts of parents — often painfully awkward — only caused embarrassment and a rush of blood to the face. Do you remember that?
About realties
- Sex on the beach or in the bathtub may turn out not to be as cool as they show in the movies.
- If you use food, remember: cream and honey are very sticky.
- You don't have to change positions every 30 seconds, as in pornography. But you don't have to stay in one either.
- Sex doesn't particularly resemble porn at all.
- Sooner or later, you will do something incredibly awkward. You will be horrified. A good partner won't care.
- Sex is often strange and ridiculous. And sometimes — absolutely intuitive and wildly beautiful. Slowly, looking into each other's eyes, or quickly and messily. There is no one right way to do it.
- After good, long, passionate sex, you’ll have to tidy yourself up, and there’s no quick and elegant way to do it.
About women
- On average, when masturbating, a man experiences orgasm in 2–4 minutes. Women need about 2–3 times longer, depending on anatomical features, state of mind, and method of stimulation.
- Many women are aroused by dirty talk (verbal descriptions of fantasies, partner's intentions during sex). Some researchers believe this explains the relative unpopularity of mainstream pornography among women as opposed to literary erotica. However, many men also really enjoy dirty talk.
- Why do many women fake orgasm? Because many men fake foreplay.
- There are women (50–70%, by various estimates) who can’t climax solely from vaginal sex. Direct clitoral stimulation is needed. This is worth talking about. And there’s nothing to be ashamed of.
- Scientists have tried, but found no other purpose in this part of female anatomy. The clitoris exists solely for pleasure.
- Sex toys were invented not only for masturbation.
- The G-spot does exist, and its sensitivity can often be developed.
- You can also develop Kegel muscles.
- It’s beneficial for girls to empty their bladder after vaginal sex. It prevents some bacteria from entering the urethra.
- Statistically, women are louder in bed.
- A woman has the right to want and love sex just as much as a man.
About men
- A man will not always be the initiator of sex, his libido will not always be stronger. Men, like women, are very different.
- If a man wants something dirty and naughty in bed, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love and respect you. He doesn’t love and respect you if he doesn’t care whether you want the same.
- Men watch porn. Period. If it makes you uncomfortable (why?), just accept it as a fact. Or watch it too. You can do it together with him.
- During oral sex, girls often do not pay enough attention to the partner's scrotum. And that’s a shame.
- For good oral sex, it’s not necessary (and sometimes impossible) to swallow the penis entirely. In any case, the most sensitive part is the head.
- The gag reflex is normal, but if you want, you can gradually get rid of it. Practice, practice, practice.
- A girl who is a log is not a myth. Most men would prefer if you were also active in bed.
- Many men enjoy dominating. But not all. Don’t label, you know how unpleasant that is. It’s better to ask.
- Men often have very sensitive skin on their heads (the one on the shoulders). Run your nails along the back of the neck, run your hand through the hair. He will like it.
About the right attitude
- The number of sexual partners (whether many or few) does not relate to your value as a person.
- Dita Von Teese reminds us that beauty is multifaceted and there will always be people — perhaps the whole world, perhaps one person — who will prefer you to everyone else.
- Sometimes you will completely not want sex. This does not make you impotent or frigid.
- Some people do not want sex at all. Ever. You may not understand this, you may disagree, but asexuality really exists.
- The most amazing sex is with someone you love. But love alone does not guarantee great sex.
- No one, absolutely no one is born a sex god. It’s a skill, and it needs to be learned. And fully or partially relearned with each new partner. Try. Love each other. Learn to give and experience pleasure. And never be ashamed of anything.
