1. Face the truth

Yes, that's right. In a sex shop, it becomes clear that you don't know everything about pleasure. That you are hiding secret desires. That you are afraid of something you didn't even expect. That you are hypocritical about something and not ready to accept it.

A tour of the sex shop is like a session of psychoanalysis, where your sexuality is discussed.

Sometimes you have to admit that you are not a sex giant and not a guru in bed. Sometimes it turns out that your sex life is as boring as a sex education class. For example, you see clitoral butterflies in front of you that do not interfere with penetration, you learn that vibrators can stimulate not only the vagina and not just women. Or you look at role-play costumes and realize that it's funny for you. And this lingerie will not look sexy on you, but disgusting, so it's time to hit the gym.

A sex shop reveals the truth about yourself, which is not always pleasant. But there is a bonus: you can turn it to your advantage and make it a source of pleasure.

2. Step over stereotypes

This is not the main thing done in a sex shop. But it's high time to understand that missionary position, oral sex, and teasing with nipples are not all sex. And no, porn will not teach you anything because it is just banal and boring. But in a sex shop, there is so much to make you feel good that it is overwhelming.

There is no shame in admitting that you need a special lubricant. There is no shame in admitting that you like additional stimulation of erogenous zones that are not even considered erogenous. You can do a lot in a sex shop.

3. Start calling things by their names

First of all - sexual organs and everything around them. It's not "pee-pee" and not "you know, where that is." Everything in the world has a name. Listen to how freely the sex shop seller calls the penis a penis, the clitoris a clitoris, the scrotum a scrotum. And everything else is called what it should be. Learn, it will help in talking to your partner later.

4. Learn to talk about sex with other people

This point directly follows from the previous one. To say something to your partner, you need to name the organ and explain what to do with it. Nothing develops your sexual vocabulary better than regular visits to a sex shop and discussions of the pros and cons of different toys with the seller. Then you'll be surprised at how easy it is to explain to your lover what you need without using vague euphemisms like: "Well, do something nice for me, but not too nice, like this."

5. Discover how far progress has gone

If you think that a sex shop is a fence of rubber dildos and a rack with costumes "for a children's morning", then you are stuck in time twenty years ago. First of all, vibrators and various toys look now so that it is sometimes hard to associate them with sexual things at all. Secondly, they can do so much that a person will never learn to do.

A trip to a good sex shop is somewhat like visiting a polytechnic museum: materials, properties, modes. Everything is modern, innovative, and groundbreaking.

6. Remove internal limitations

Believe me, sex shop sellers have seen something scarier than a couple wanting to have sex differently but not knowing how. Here the main thing is to relax and look around, not to be afraid to open and touch the goods displayed in the window, feel them, see how they work. You might discover desires you didn't suspect, and some toys might literally jump into your hands and force you to buy them.

7. Learn to ignore others

We write a lot about how other people's opinions should not affect you and that it's time to throw away all thoughts like "what will they think of me." Entering a sex shop is a great exercise for this skill.

Yes, everyone is watching where you are going. Yes, there are other shoppers in the sex shop who glance at you from time to time. Who cares.

You will leave the store and go for pleasure, while others will either envy or be outraged. But what does it matter to you?

And don't forget to ask for the branded bag with the store's logo, otherwise sex shops usually give modest, inconspicuous opaque bags. That's not our method: we are not afraid of other people's opinions.